High school can also be a place of shear torture for many kids. Being bullied, feeling left out, ostracized, desperately wanting to fit in, but feeling like you don't. When you have Aspergers, an extreme deficit in social skills, and sensory issues, you can multiply that torture X's 10 (at least).
It's near the end of the school year and Red is done, he's ready to check out. Unfortunately you can't just say, "Sorry people...I'll see you next year, maybe." You have to get through it. Suddenly his classes are too loud. There's too many people. He hates this teacher and that teacher.
The bottom line is he's tired of feeling like a little gold fish in a huge ocean filled with sharks.
He's tired of swimming against the tide.
He's tired of not having any real friends.
He's tired of being surrounded by people but not being able to connect with any of them.
He's tired of the loudness of the classrooms.
He's sick of the sensory overload.
So he comes home and goes ballistic.
He screams to the top of his lungs at a simple request of taking a shower.
He rages and rants about how horrible his life is.
He becomes more aggressive more angry with those of us who love him.
He is miserable and he wants the rest of us to join the misery party.
He pounds us with scripts and demands to buy him new things that he thinks will make him happy.
He has yet to realize that things don't make you happy.
Everything that is wrong in his life is somehow my fault.
I am the person who works tirelessly to find answers.
I am the one he thinks can make things better for him.
I am the person that he knows loves him unconditionally.
I always forgive him.
This gives him license to treat me like crap.
I keep it moving forward...trying to help him and my younger son, who also has Aspergers.
Therapies, doctors, social skills, medicine, advocating, ARD meetings, IEP's, BIP's, carpools, entertaining
I keep a smile on my face, trying to focus on my blessings.
I pray and see small victories, but can't help but wonder why I'm not seeing any miracles.
To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven -Ecclesiates 3:1
In my head I know this is true, but when your child suffers, it's hard to figure out the purpose of that. Help me Lord.
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