So much time is spent trying to understand and help our autistic children. And rightfully so. They're road is not an easy one. But, for Just one moment, I'd like to step away from needs of my autistic child and focus on the needs of his brother and sister. Today, I would love -- and need -- the perspective of siblings.
I have four equality beautiful, yet uniquely different children. Two have special needs. Part of me hates that description because to be honest -- all children have special needs. But back to my point -- I have one child with Asperger's Syndrome/Bipolar and another with Bipolar/ADHD.
To say our home life is chaotic would be an understatement. Much time and attention is devoted to keeping the two calm and on an even keel. This leaves the other two, especially my oldest, feeling the void.
Now, we try out best to take time out to spend individual time with each child. We've explained the differences in our family, and the fact that fair is not always equal. But still, I see so much anger, so much resentment building in my teenager. And this affects not only her interactions at home, but all aspects of her life. She can be extremely kind and compassionate, but turn around and let loose her anger on anyone in her path. Yes, I know some of this comes with her age, but there is so much more behind the normal teenage angst.
So I am calling out to siblings -- young, grown, etc. I would love your perspective. In your own experience, what worked, what didn't? Are there things your parents did that helped you better understand your sibling/s? Did you resent the time spent with your sibling and if so, did you grow out of this?
While there is not nearly enough awareness and interventions available for those with autism, the same can be said for their brothers and sisters. I would like to think that growing up with a sister or brother with special needs can create an awareness, an understanding not found in others. It can give people a greater level of compassion and empathy. But this does not happen on its own. So today, I would like to start the process of purposefully molding not just my complicated children, but all of them
I am the mother of four children -- a
teenager, a toddler and tween twins. My twins both have their "issues",
one with Asperger's Syndrome and Bipolar, the other with Bipolar and
ADHD. This means our house is anything but quiet and reserved. I also
write a blog, Raising Complicated Kids, that chronicles our experience with our not-so-average family.