Informative Booklet for Parents of Newly Diagnosed Children with Autism

When my husband I walked out of the doctor's office with a diagnosis of "autism" for our middle child, I wish the doctor had handed me something like Same Child, Different Day, a booklet I've recently learned about.  The author Jon R. Gilbert writes on the back cover,  "This booklet was written by the family of a child with autism. It is meant to provide a little insight into what you could expect during the first year after the diagnosis, based on our own experiences. Your results will vary."

My husband and I were driving past past the mailbox on our way to "date night." I made him stop to see if the envelop I'd been waiting for had arrived. I opened it eagerly and read through the table of contents as my husband drove to the restaurant. I laughed out loud and had to start reading the chapter titles to my husband to let him in on the joke. Even though we'd been living with the diagnosis of autism in the family for six years, just the titles brought back memories. 

Gilbert starts each chapter with practical information and ends each chapter with a story from their own family. The first chapter states his purpose. "Over the course of the year following Nolan's diagnosis we encountered many situations where we could have benefited from some simple, fluff-free, honest direction. Circumstances arose (and are still arising) where we could have used some insider information, a simple heads-up or a fair warning." Then he dives right in with Nolan's first haircut. My husband and I laughed until we cried because we could have written the same story. And yes, it would've been great to have some insider information or a heads up BEFORE we entered that situation.

Same Child, Different Day is a great source for information when you are first walking out the doctor's office in shock and don't know where to turn first. Gilbert has a few pages defining soon to be familiar terms and concepts. I even learned some new ones after six years of my own reading and research into autism. He provides some well-respected and acknowledged resources by way of websites, books and mailing addresses. He also gives some insight into the lifestyle changes, the attitudes you'll face in public, the meltdowns the child will have and hints at the toll it starts to take on the family.

I like the booklet because it is factual, neutral and still upbeat. The growing awareness of autism being diagnosed in one out of 150 children has made the subject emotional, political, and sometimes, controversial. I respect the fact Gilbert touches on these areas without making you aware of his own opinions. Because of this, I believe this booklet would be beneficial to have in all medical practices, educational settings and organizations dealing with autism, especially for those families first entering into this new and scary world.

The book is reasonably priced and available for bulk rates. For more information contact Jon Gilbert at his website by the same name Same Child, Different Day.

I'm a mother of three children ranging from 7 to 17 years old. I have two neuro-typical children and one with Asperger's Syndrome. I write daily about the "joys in the challenges of Asperger's Syndrome" over at Just Because My Pickle Talks Doesn't Make Me An Idiot.

Calling All Siblings

So much time is spent trying to understand and help our autistic children.  And rightfully so.  They're road is not an easy one.  But, for Just one moment, I'd like to step away from needs of my autistic child and focus on the needs of his brother and sister.  Today, I would love -- and need -- the perspective of siblings. 

I have four equality beautiful, yet uniquely different children.  Two have special needs.  Part of me hates that description because to be honest -- all children have special needs.  But back to my point -- I have one child with Asperger's Syndrome/Bipolar and another with Bipolar/ADHD.

To say our home life is chaotic would be an understatement.  Much time and attention is devoted to keeping the two calm and on an even keel.  This leaves the other two, especially my oldest, feeling the void.

Now, we try out best to take time out to spend individual time with each child.  We've explained the differences in our family, and the fact that fair is not always equal.  But still, I see so much anger, so much resentment building in my teenager.  And this affects not only her interactions at home, but all aspects of her life.  She can be extremely kind and compassionate, but turn around and let loose her anger on anyone in her path.  Yes, I know some of this comes with her age, but there is so much more behind the normal teenage angst.

So I am calling out to siblings -- young, grown, etc.  I would love your perspective.  In your own experience, what worked, what didn't?  Are there things your parents did that helped you better understand your sibling/s? Did you resent the time spent with your sibling and if so, did you grow out of this?

While there is not nearly enough awareness and interventions available for those with autism, the same can be said for their brothers and sisters. I would like to think that growing up with a sister or brother with special needs can create an awareness, an understanding not found in others.  It can give people a greater level of compassion and empathy.  But this does not happen on its own.  So today, I would like to start the process of purposefully molding not just my complicated children, but all of them


I am the mother of four children -- a teenager, a toddler and tween twins. My twins both have their "issues", one with Asperger's Syndrome and Bipolar, the other with Bipolar and ADHD. This means our house is anything but quiet and reserved. I also write a blog, Raising Complicated Kids, that chronicles our experience with our not-so-average family.

Bet you didn't know you were a writer!

It's been a bit since we have posted, but we are still around. If you have experience with autism, consider writing here. All you need is your story. Email sendchocolatenow AT gmail DOT com Together, we can get through life with autism. Tina

Is the CDC quietly revising autism numbers behind our back?

I don't normally do this, but I am linking to the article on new autism rates I wrote at Examiner.com simply because I am still reeling at what I found out. I am having a hard time believing it but the CDC appears to be trying to bury new numbers as to the rates of autism in the US. The rate is now 1 in 100, or 1% of all kids in the United States will be diagnosed with an Autism Spectrum Disorder. WHY isn't this all over the news? Your guess is as good as mine. Read the article. What do you think?

T, who is NOT a Conspiracy Theorist, but is searching for an explanation

Tina Cruz is a writer, wife and mother of three children, two who have high-functioning autism, one who has Asperger's tendencies. She advocates for autism awareness and education, as well as acceptance. She views autism as a growth process and the opportunity to connect parents for support as a privilege. She is the Special Needs Editor at typeamom LA Special Needs Kids Examiner at Examiner.com and her own site, Send Chocolate reflects her passion for her children and autism. t Autism Sucks is her brainchild.

A Super Mom I'm Not

This is my first time posting to this blog, so bear with me. Its just that this topic has been weighing heavy on my mind lately and it hit a chord on my blog, so I thought I'd share. ------- Scattered. Space Cadet. Flake. These are all terms I'm sure have been used to describe me. Maybe because over the years I've backed out of more than my fair share of commitments. Its gotten so bad that I now run when I see a well-intended parent seeking volunteers for some good cause. Its not that I have a fear of commitment, its just that I can never commit. If I do, the Murphy's Law that is my life automatically kicks in and all hell breaks loose. Either there's a meltdown, a rage, sheer exhaustion or all of the above involved. Lets face it, these tend to get in the way of making 100 cupcakes for the school play. Then I'm left to make that awkward phone call telling the nice organizer I can't do whatever it is I'm supposed to do. This is followed by the equally awkward silence or heavy sigh as the person on the other end of the phone expresses their obvious displeasure with me. Its during these times that I really wish I could scream at the top of my lungs, "Don't you get it, I have REAL problems here." But since I don't make a point of advertising our situation, there's no way for those in the outside world to know. To them I look like any other mom -- one with messy hair, more than a few extra pounds and no make-up yes, but pretty average all the same. So, how do I keep getting myself into this situation? Because deep down I want to help. I'd like to be the one helping others instead of the one accepting it all the time. In my dreams I fancy myself the room mom, the cookie mom, the church volunteer. Then my kids could remember their mom as the one who was always involved, always there to lend a helping hand, instead of the one too harried to brush her teeth. The solution? I have a few ideas brewing. I'm toying with the idea of sporting a sign that reads something like: DANGER: SPECIAL NEEDS MOM. APPROACH WITH CAUTION. Or maybe I can just hand out cards describing our present catastrophe. The problem is, after reading a few lines of what our average day is like, I'm not sure anyone will believe me. That's what happens when you have children with hidden disabilities. They "look" normal, and for the most part can act normal too. So even if you do 'fess up, many people will look at you in total disbelief. Then starts the minimization. "Oh, it can't be that bad." Or, "honey, all kids go through that phase." So I think the next Super Mom who corners me in the parking lot asking if I could "be a dear and....." will just be given a link to this blog. Maybe then she'll find a little empathy for my scattered brain. If nothing else, it will give me a good exit so I can wallow in my flakiness in peace. I am the mother of four children -- a teenager, a toddler and tween twins. My twins both have their "issues", one with Asperger's Syndrome and Bipolar, the other with Bipolar and ADHD. This means our house is anything but quiet and reserved. I also write a blog, Raising Complicated Kids, that chronicles our experience with our not-so-average family.

Autism-Through A Sister's Eyes

Autism, a six letter word here meaning "a neurological disorder that can change lives and wreak much havoc" has taken residence in my home for years. Both of my siblings have been diagnosed with high functioning autism. Autism certainly isn't easy to live with. I share a room with my seven year old sister, a feat that requires much patience at times.

How do you explain that at 8:00 in the morning, you don't yell at the cat to get out of the closet? (Who cares that the cat is wearing a tiara? I'm trying to sleep!) How do you explain that you can't understand someone when they are yelling at the frequency of a car alarm? How do you explain that you are busy and can't play with plastic toys? Again and again and again and...

When they wake up at 3 in the morning because they had a bad dream or they sob their heart out because they miss the cats that died in a fire...when they ask "why God?"... when you yourself ask "why God?" When you meet someone new and they ask "Is she five?" and you say "No, she's almost eight" and it breaks your heart...when she's excluded from a group of kids, and you see the parallels between seven-year-old girls and high school cliques, and big-sister syndrome kicks in which makes you immediately want to go make it better, but you know that, sooner or later, you just won't be there...When you are having a bad day, and she comes up, wanting a hug, and you snap at her to leave you alone, and her face crumbles, and you feel lower than the bacteria that live on bacteria that live on a piece of dirt...And when you apologize and she forgives you like nothing ever happened, that's autism.

And when all is said and done, yes, she still has autism, but she is your sister, and she does need to be loved. Autism is just one aspect of her, not what defines her. And, as hard as that is to remember, it makes all the difference.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go love my sister.

picture of eyeglasses, cc, via flickr, sheepguardingllama

JBug grudgingly admits that she is Tina's fifteen year old daughter (after all, she has to have someone to blame for her DNA) and is big sis to JBear and JBean. She blogs for Geek 4 Kids, (with the younger siblings and Tina) and her personal blog is FlyingLogicMonkeys.

Now we are condoning discrimination? oh, HELL no!

Sorry, I am crossposting this on all of my sites. I simply feel the issue is too important to ignore. Thanks!

You might remember earlier this year about the teacher from Port St. Lucie, FL who had her class vote on whether Alex Barton, a child with autism, could remain in her Kindergarten class. He was voted out, traumatized and refused to return to school. There was a great uproar and teacher Wendy Portillo was suspended without pay for a year with her tenure revoked.

The school board quietly reversed its decision this week..please read the rest here, and trust me, you need to read it.

Tina Cruz is a writer, wife and mother of three children, two who have high-functioning autism, one who has Asperger's tendencies. She advocates for autism awareness and education, as well as acceptance. She views autism as a growth process and the opportunity to connect parents for support as a privilege. She is the Special Needs Editor at typeamom LA Special Needs Kids Examiner at Examiner.com and her own site, Send Chocolate reflects her passion for her children and autism. Autism Sucks is her brainchild.

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