An Interview with a special needs kids mom - Jenn Brockman

I am beginning a series of interviews with parent's of special needs kids. Lets start with me. I'll conduct my own interview so all of you can get to know me and my special needs kids! Q: What is your name & how many children do you have? A: Jenn Brockman - 2 girls, 7 and 11 Q: You have a special needs child. What is her/his name and what is the special need or diagnosis for that child? A: Actually, both my girls have issues, but don't we all? Nove, the 7 year old has Autism and possibly sensory integration disorder and oppositional defiance disorder too. Kat, my 11 year old, has ADHD. The doc said he'd never seen another kid in his practice rate so high overall on the Connor's scale. (2 of her teachers and we/parents filled out the rating form) Q: What are some of the issues you deal with on a daily basis from your child? (behavioral, physical symptoms or issues) A: Nove is stubborn, non communicative at times - she won't use words - often grunts, points, growls, when words would be used by anyone else. She plays with hot wheels, but play isn't a good word here. She actually just lines them up in different patterns. She is only about 75% potty trained. We still use pull ups on a regular basis. She spins, and spins and spins. There are so many other things, that it would take up a whole page all by itself. Kat, interrupts, can't get from one room to another without being distracted from her mission, talks loudly and often (all the time!). She wiggles and fidgets and moves all the time. Can't get organized, because she starts on one thing and gets distracted. Q: How old was your child when they were diagnosed? If no diagnosis yet, please skip and answer next question. A: Both girls were diagnosed within the last year thanks to family therapy. Q: Was it easy or difficult (to get) diagnosis? A: Well, we've been in therapy for a year and a half and we are just now getting to diagnosis. We tried to get the school to help with Kat for the last 3 years, but they kept brushing our concerns aside until her grades failed this year. Q: How did you feel upon getting the diagnosis? A: It was a relief to get Nove's diagnosis. I had questioned my sanity daily because of her behaviors, but I knew she was not ordinary. For Kat, I felt relief for her. Her self confidence had failed so badly that she beat herself up both literally and figuratively daily. Q: Do you care for the child by yourself, or do you have a support system in place? Please tell the readers about your situation. (who provides care and in what way, for what reason) A: Right now, the support system consists of my Mom when she feels well, their Dad on weekends (we are divorced), our family therapist and the school. My mom has been a tremendous help since Kat was born, but she gets migraines and has had a bad bout for several months now, so I feel like I'm a single mom trying to deal with these two unruly children all by myself. Q: What obstacles (if any) did you face along the way & how did you overcome them? A: The main obstacle was the school. Last year we had a run in with a substitute teacher who claimed that Nove wet her pants on purpose when she was angry. Her home room teacher this year, while communicating and working well with her, may believe that Nove has bi polar disorder and so I'm not entirely sure how she is reacting to Nove. However, there have been some great bright spots along the way. The pre K teacher was the one who initially helped us determine that there was, indeed, something going on with Nove and was so very patient and kind to her and to us. This year's new special education teacher seems to be much more level headed than the previous one and is communicating well with us ( I think). Q: Did you ever feel like it was a losing battle? A: Daily! Nove doesn't get up easily in the morning. She hits, she gets frustrated easily and gives up quick, which frustrated me even more. I feel doomed to be her caretaker for the rest of my life which is not something I signed up for so it feels at times like a life sentence. Q: What quality/qualities (i.e., tenacity, discipline, time management) do you think are necessary for a mom of a special needs child. Q: Which ones do you think it brings out in parents of special needs children? A: Yep, all those listed. Patience, (which I have little of), empathy, compassion and strength. Q: What one thing (book, website, coach, therapist, drug, tool, blog, service, etc) was VERY INSTRUMENTAL or inspirational to you? A: Can't pick just one! George, our family therapist. His humor has helped me get through many frustrations. I take things too seriously more often than not and he has shown me that I don't have to. Temple Grandin is inspiring. She is an adult with autism. Had it before autism was freely diagnosed and actually works and does presentations in the grown up real world. Q: What resources do you still/currently use to help you in your care for your child? A: Therapy. Even though there isn't much to help Nove with in our family therapy, it keeps me sane. Keeps me from giving up and giving in to her and to the social expectancy. Twitter. I've found many other parents of special needs kids there and have been able to share and get comfort. Q: What do you do to keep sane? (scrapbooking, running, reading, baths) A: I used to be a dancer. (belly danc) but the car accident ended that, so now, I read the forums and run my business. The weekends are probably the best for me. I get to spend a couple days with out the girls and with my boyfriend at his house watching crappy TV reality shows and just not giving a crap about the rest of the world. It took me a while to learn how to do that though. Q: I met you through a business networking connection. What business are you in? A: I'm in direct sales, beauty and fashion. Q: What is the name of your company and when did you start it? A: I own 2, along with special needs kids talk radio. My baby is Painted Laydies Mineral Makeup which I created from the ground up. I formulate, create, market, and everything else. The second is Mama Bags where I sell fun and unique handbags and accessories. Q: What was the inspiration behind your company/business? A: Well, Painted Laydies began out of a need for products that didn't make my skin go crazy. I had a background in beauty and art so the color theory and creation part of making the products was easy and a lot of fun. I hoped and still do, that it will actually provide a way to make a living and still be able to care for my kids without worrying about losing a job because I have to go rescue one of them from school. Q: What is your favorite quote/movie/song? A:The Pricess Bride - "as you wish" Some commercial - "what the french, toast?" Q: What advice would you give to other moms of special needs kids? A: Reach out to communities and other parents. The best support comes from someone who can identify with what you are going through. I thought I was alone in what I dealt with in regard to my kids. The fact is, there are millions of us! Q: How can my readers connect with you? (Website, Twitter, blog, etc.) A: I'm always looking for new stories and people to connect with on http://specialneedskidstalkradio.com My other businesses can be found here; http://www.underavirgomoon.com Twitter name is Jenn Brockman