The first day of a new school year is always so exciting for me. I am thrilled to have the house back. It's like, 'Oh my God -babysitting paid for by my tax dollars!' For 7 hours a day they are someone else's problem. Doesn't that sound horrible? Sorry! It's true. Although, not totally...it doesn't mean that I'm not going to get a phone call or an e-mail with some crisis or another. Yesterday was no exception.
My phone call didn't come until the end of the day when my eldest, who just started high school, didn't get on the bus to come home. The special needs transportation left him and pretty much refused to come back. He wasn't out there within 10 minutes of the bell ringing so they took off. What exactly is "special" about this "special needs" transportation? You have a boy who processes slowly. It's his first day in a new school. He's still feeling his way around and you leave him! Because this school is out of our immediate area, this meant I suddenly had to pick him up. Good thing I didn't have anything better to do. I wasn't happy and neither was he. He doesn't like the driver and his assistant anyway. (Which may account for why it took so long to get out there). He says, "They act like they're drunk!" Which is code for -they're weird. I must admit, I have to agree with him.
By the time we get home he's pretty much in a rage about how much he hates the new school. No one talked to him. When he talked to someone they pretty much brushed him off.
"I have no friends! I felt sad and lonely at lunch! I didn't eat! The lines were too long! I HATE THAT SCHOOL! I'm not going back tomorrow!"
He went on venting for about an hour. "I'm going to go curse people out on Facebook!" And you think that's going to help you make friends? Of course I use the logic -Rome wasn't built in a day. "It takes time to make friends. Give it some time. Make sure you're smiling. Try not to look angry and sad." In other words...fake it.
After spending his entire school life (preschool-5th) my youngest started middle school. The words 'transition' and change are not favorites in the language of Asperger's. So saying he was a little nervous is putting it mildly. Middle school is a big change for your average child. Multiply it times 10 for an Aspergers kid.
"How was your day son?"
"It was horrible! I hate that school! Some kid said to me, 6th graders suck! And I hate that when we go to P.E. I'll have to change clothes and see people NAKED!"
"They won't actually be naked. They will have on underwear, and they will be so busy changing, you guys won't have time to really look at each other!"
"I'm not doing it!"
I will of course work with the P.E. teachers and special education teacher to make some arrangement to help relieve his anxiety. I sent e-mail to my older son's teacher asking her to get a peer to shadow him during lunch for a while, in hopes that he won't come home so angry and frustrated.
So is it so great having them back to school? Is it really such a relief, or just a whole new set of problems?
Seeing people naked -it's kind of funny coming from a kid who used to get naked as soon as he walked through the front door! Once upon a time, we couldn't get him to keep clothes on....now we can't get him to take them off and definitely not in public!
Check ouT mY personal bloG : http://confessionsofanaspergersmom.blogspot.com/
I'm sorry your boys had stinky days; I hope they settle into their new routines quickly.
ReplyDeleteMy kids go back to school tomorrow -- 8th and 5th grades -- so today is Open House day. And I'm just as torn about tomorrow. When they're in school, I can get my work done. But when they're in school, he doesn't automatically get the supports he needs just because they're in his IEP.
I've also gotten called to come get him when the bus has left without him. Fortunately, he just sits in the office and waits for me without behavioral incident -- he just has to tell me (several times) whose fault it was since, of course, it wasn't HIS!
The first day is always hard. Transitions, anxiety, new faces and routines. I certainly hope things get better soon -- give it a week or a month, but things are bound to settle a bit. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteThis was a long summer and I'm glad to have my 3 year old in preschool. Transitions aren't so hard for him now but I can't imagine what they'll be in 5 or 10 years. Good luck with the rest of the year. It *has* to get easeir, right?
ReplyDeleteWhat handsome boys.
ReplyDeleteI also had problems getting my boy to come home on the "special needs transport" the only solution was for me to become the travel assistant. It's really nice - we have one hour, twice a day - just us in a taxi (plus driver) we get to talk about alsorts of things (mainly video games as that is his passion LOL)