Wednesday, April 7, 2010

It'll Get Easier?

When the boys were first diagnosed, people kept telling me, “It'll get easier as they get older.” Obviously, those people had never raised autistic boys.

I am a single parent. I have twins, one high functioning and one low functioning. My low functioning son has run me through the gamit – last year we discovered he is an eloper, after jumping the fence and being found on the 91 freeway. He also jumped his grandparent's fence and was found on the Los Alamitos Army reserve Base. Now 13, he is in the middle of adolescence and has discovered masturbation. Yes, this is one topic where there is no help out there, on the internet or from doctors. People don't want to talk about it, but if you have a low functioning child who is not developed enough to ejaculate, he will pee, and pee everywhere. Behavioral therapists tell us to do social stories, which he memorizes but doesn't generalize. You can't take his reinforcer away – it's built in. We try to tell him that shower time is the time he can do that – the kid takes 20 – 30 minute showers now. Lucky kid - I'm lucky if I get 5 minutes. In fact, this morning, while I was taking that 5 minute shower, he did it again and peed all over the floor. The doctor is raising his prozac dosage, but doesn't have hopes that it will calm his behavior – it might make a 50 year old man less interested, but it's doubtful it will have that effect on a 13 year old boy. But we will try, because at this point, we will try anything. He mainly does this at night, when everyone is asleep, so there's no chance at redirecting his behavior. He will play with himself, then pee over the side of the bed, down the wall, and onto the floor. I discovered this when his room began to smell, but I couldn't find anything obvious – his bed is a loft bed against the wall, and there are baskets of toys and things under it. Only when I got down on the floor did I discover that there was a veritable flood of pee, the carpet was soaked beyond ruin, and the hardwood floors underneath were beginning to get moldy.

As they boys get older, I find myself wishing that just for a day, I had typical kids, and if that wasn't possible, wishing that everyone else had low functioning autistic kids, just so they'd really know what I go through.

written by a mom who wishes to remain anonymous, based on subject matter
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  1. OMCrap! That does suck. That would absolutely put me over the edge. His pee-eth runneth over.

    I come from a deviant childhood family, and so when my son was young and touching himself, I would instantly tell him not to (it freaked me out). Sometimes he'll still do it when he's not thinking, during a movie, etc. All I say is "Hand", and he's pulls it away. But he does have wet dreams at night. I don't think they are pee...but not definite on that. It's just wetness on the clothing, not a full stream.

    Of all the compulsive behaviors he could have embraced.

  2. Hi, you may want to let your doctor know about this study:

    It seems prozac affects only sexual function but not libido. Instead, there are other anti-depressants that affect libido and could have a better effect. best of luck!

  3. Thank you so much for posting this. My 15 yr old son has been urinating on the floor and we had no idea why he was doing this. He too has discovered masturbation but doesnt seem to be doing it all the time. He usually pees in the morning right next to his bed or sometimes he goes downstairs and does it in the family room. Do you think it is some kind of sexual release for him? If so its makes alot of sense and yes the doctors have no idea and even the school really couldnt help me.

  4. I'm so glad I found this site. I have been trying to understand why all of a sudden my 14 year old autistic son is peeing on himself practically every day in school when he knows to go to the bathroom. He tries to masturbate, especially at night when everyone has gone to bed. The situation has been driving my wife and me crazy.

  5. Well Im here for some type of answer myself. I have a 16 year old that has started peeing on himself at school. This in turn started later down the line at home. Now he intentionally goes to his room (sometimes) lay in the bed and pees in his clothes. He gets real quiet. People say bladder infection, some say, puberty, I have never had to go through this but it frustrates me and my husband to know we have come this far and he is regressing like this.

  6. my 12 year old adopted daughter is peeing on the floor and on her stuffed animals at night... she has tourettes and adhd, and we are sure she is on the autism spectrum at a high functioning level. thankyou for posting!!! it was the smell in her room... i couldn't find it because i kept checking her sheets, then i found all the stuffies and pillows under her bed. when i garbaged all the stuffies and throw pillows she now goes right on the floor. back to pull ups i guess for now! it doesn't get easier.... i found as the puberty has hit, a real regression has transpired.

  7. I hope this doesn't happen with our ten year old in a few years. When mad, he's been known to pee on the floors and blame the pets. Today, he got mad and did it. I made him wipe the floor. Wash the towel, then mop. I've noticed that doing the wrong thing has to be harder than doing the right thing in order for him to stop.


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