We're in with the In crowd.

Here in Melbourne my son and I attended our first World Autism Awareness Day march, from Autism Victoria through the streets and up to the steps of the State Library, on April 2.

For the first time in a long time I could see a difference in my son as he looked around at the mass of people thronging on the nature strip in Drummond Street, Carlton, awaiting the signal to start marching.

I kept a tentative anchorage for him by lightly rubbing his back now and then, to reassure him I was there if he needed me; at one point he actually turned to reassure me that he was fine, thank you very much.

I looked at him and realised there was an inner glow, a lightness and happiness to him that I had not seen in a long time.
It took a few seconds for me to nut it out but it was so simple; he wasn't the odd man out in a crowd for the first time in years.

How often is it drummed into us parents to assist our kids to integrate with neurotypicals, to have them socialise with them as much as possible to get the old 'monkey see, monkey do' happening with social behaviour, yet somewhere in following the rules we kind of miss the message our kids need to know they aren't the only ones who think, process, talk, walk, just plain are different.

He proudly marched with others, he shared smiles and grins, moving out of the way for mothers with prams, returning waves to strangers who stopped to watch and wave to the marchers but the most compelling, the most empowering thing for him that day was to realise for himself that he was a part of a whole community and not just the novelty Aspie geek kid.

Next week he attends his first Aspie teen social support group and he's almost bursting with excitement to just be another face in the different crowd.
Cos the different crowd rocks.

And it will keep on rocking throughout May as Autism Awareness Month in Australia.

Ro is from Australia; she has a partner on the Spectrum and is the mother of a 13 yr old homeschooled Aspie teen studying at University, both of whom have recently given her permission to blog about their challenges with multiple diagnosis' alongside Autism at Get Over It...I did.

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Perspectives of a Guilty Parent

Originally posted at Mamabusypants on April 1. Life on the Spectrum recently wrote: "Someone said that they were tired of some parents with children who have autism, painting autism as if it were some sort of cool adventure. Autism is hard, depressing and sometimes unbearable." That resonates. Mr. Busypants has mild autism, which translates into autism is only mildly a pain in my ass. Sometimes I feel guilty about his mildness. I'm stuck in the middle: my kid's not quite normal, but he's also not completely, hopelessly, overly frustratingly autistic. So while I deal with the "autistic moments," I do not deal with them at the great frequency that many others do. Initially, the diagnosis and subsequent transitions from babyhood to toddlerland to preschoolville were hard, depressing, and sometimes unbearable. But now, while Mr. Busypants is in Kindergarten at least, the challenges are not much larger than the average parents' (different, but not more overwhelming). That may change, but I feel privileged to just love his mind and the unique perspective he brings to life. At least for now, I get to see it as a cool adventure. To be honest, I fear my neuro-typical (NT) daughter, Miss Chattyshoes, drama queen that she already is, will be way harder to raise. She already has an opinion about everything. When she really, really wants something, she repeats herself, each time at a higher decibel, until only dogs in the neighborhood and the dolphins at the Brookfield Zoo are able to hear her. I'm constantly being ordered to "sit down mama," as she plants her chubby cheeks (yes, the other ones) onto the couch and pats the spot right next to her. It's often frustrating because there's an endless list of things on my To Do list (like laundry, major clean up, grading, dishes, more major clean up, Facebook), but recently I decided to fall in line with the little drill sergeant. I mean, she'll only be little once. So now I'm getting caught up on all kinds of reading. It's distracting to do my Bible study with Elmo in the background, but somehow I manage. As for Mr. Busypants, well, so far he is wildly navigating the line between having autism and being a regular kid. He has a lot going for him in that he wants to partcipate with others, but he also has obstacles less known to those who are neuro-typical. He's coping with the sensory bombardment that's magnified because he has autism, the obsessive/compulsive need for structure and repetition as he processes the world around him, and the emerging knowledge that he is indeed different. Jeannie Anderson is a stay-at-home mom with two children, Mr. Busypants, 6, and Miss Chattyshoes, almost 2. She is a part time college-level writing instructor at three Chicago-area colleges and writes about the Adventures of Mr. Busypants at Mamabusypants.

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