Happy Mother's Day To Some Amazing Women!

As they kick and scream, we hold them.

As they face adversity, we fight for them.

As they get older, we hope for them.

As they are, we love them.

We are mothers.

We are fantastic, wonderful, incredibly strong women who are as flawed as the next human, but are as resilient as rock and as rebounding as rubber. We may fall but we always get up and will be by our children's sides as long as we can draw breath.

is also found randomly rambling at her other blogs.

We're in with the In crowd.

Here in Melbourne my son and I attended our first World Autism Awareness Day march, from Autism Victoria through the streets and up to the steps of the State Library, on April 2.

For the first time in a long time I could see a difference in my son as he looked around at the mass of people thronging on the nature strip in Drummond Street, Carlton, awaiting the signal to start marching.

I kept a tentative anchorage for him by lightly rubbing his back now and then, to reassure him I was there if he needed me; at one point he actually turned to reassure me that he was fine, thank you very much.

I looked at him and realised there was an inner glow, a lightness and happiness to him that I had not seen in a long time.
It took a few seconds for me to nut it out but it was so simple; he wasn't the odd man out in a crowd for the first time in years.

How often is it drummed into us parents to assist our kids to integrate with neurotypicals, to have them socialise with them as much as possible to get the old 'monkey see, monkey do' happening with social behaviour, yet somewhere in following the rules we kind of miss the message our kids need to know they aren't the only ones who think, process, talk, walk, just plain are different.

He proudly marched with others, he shared smiles and grins, moving out of the way for mothers with prams, returning waves to strangers who stopped to watch and wave to the marchers but the most compelling, the most empowering thing for him that day was to realise for himself that he was a part of a whole community and not just the novelty Aspie geek kid.

Next week he attends his first Aspie teen social support group and he's almost bursting with excitement to just be another face in the different crowd.
Cos the different crowd rocks.

And it will keep on rocking throughout May as Autism Awareness Month in Australia.

Ro is from Australia; she has a partner on the Spectrum and is the mother of a 13 yr old homeschooled Aspie teen studying at University, both of whom have recently given her permission to blog about their challenges with multiple diagnosis' alongside Autism at Get Over It...I did.

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ONE LONG DAY

When I had my first child, thirty years ago, I was still a child myself. In fact, I think I still was when I had my third child eight years later. I made mistakes along the way but I always loved being a mother. It was the most fulfilling and rewarding thing I had ever done with my life. When my children grew up and moved away, I felt empty. I felt as if I no longer had purpose in my life. So, seventeen months ago at the age of 46 and with an ailing husband and a few health issues of my own, my husband and I became foster parents to an eight-month-old boy. Because the father is a relative of mine, I knew the history and knew that our foster child would become our child. What we didn't know was that he would be diagnosed with Autism.

Despite his diagnosis, we love Matty and we adopted him on November 20, 2009. At that point, he had lived with us for 13 months. We really didn't think that raising him was going to change much in our lives. Because of my husband's illness, we had already stopped doing many of things we previously enjoyed. We actually thought that having a baby would be a fun new life for us. (We both had children from prior marriages but none together.) We even thought that having a laughing happy baby would help my husband to feel better. Give him a new and bright focus so he wouldn't dwell on his iron lung. And you know, for a while it really worked. But, Autism changes everything.

When you think you know all there is to know about Autism, you have a lot to learn. Anyone who says that he/she knows all about Autism is a liar. Autism is a mystery. It is an unpredictable series of who-knows-what. Every day is so the same yet so very very different. What the Autistic child loves one day can throw him into a total meltdown the next day. Things we take for granted; eating, washing, sleeping, become an issue.

Mealtime. Once upon a time, this was the most pleasant part of the day. Now, it's a thing we fear. If the food doesn't look right or feel right, (yes, I said feel right because he must touch and squeeze and lick every item on his plate.) he won't eat it. The few things he will eat wreak havoc in his over sensitive belly. He won't eat cereal but rocks are great. He won't eat rice but lint is wonderful! This leads to the next issue SLEEP. I remember it, I miss it, and I long for it! I think at this point I may even kill for it if I had the strength and wasn't in so much pain. But, when Matty doesn't sleep, no one sleeps.

Our days begin at 6:30 AM. We strive to keep life as structured as possible for Matty because any change is apt to drive him into himself and cause the day to run on into the wee wee hours while he tries to sort it out. For example, Last week, we had a visitor just before dinner. It was a family member that Matty has only seen a few times and she only stayed about an hour. Matty withdrew during the visit then became very cranky at bedtime. It took two full hours of walking and rocking his 35 pounds to sleep that night. That was a minor thing. Christmas week was one looooong day for us. But that’s another story. A structured day for us consists of keeping meals, snacks, naps, and playtimes at the same time every day. Except for the one hour of therapy Matty gets each week, we are alone. From early morning to after dinner it is two old people chasing this child around trying to keep him safe from himself. He is obsessed with anything dangerous; stairways, outlets, climbing onto windowsills, tables, bookcases, and lately the shelves of the entertainment center too. A simple “NO!” does not divert him. He ignores all verbal commands and seems to know that we can’t get up fast enough to stop him on his path of self-destruction.

Afternoons on good weather days, I take him outdoors where I stand over him pulling pebbles out of his mouth or stopping him from pouring sand into his ears. He does fine in his stroller, sometimes for a full ten minutes! Back indoors while I cook a meal, my husband tries to keep him entertained but all he wants is to stare at the television and throw his toys. Oh, the toys. The money we spent on toys and all he does is look at them and throw them. He is not content until every inch of the carpet is covered with toys. The scattering of toys makes it harder for us to stumble over as we rush to pull him from an outlet or from bobbing for bubbles in the potty. After dinner and a bath we begin the bedtime battles.

Matty has decided that he hates bedtime. We used to put him to bed and he would play happily there for sometimes up to an hour before falling asleep. But not anymore. For the last several weeks we lay him down and he cries. Then, he begins to scream. We begin taking turns rocking him. First in the rocking chair, that lasts about two minutes, then up and walking. We can tag-team this task for up to three hours per night. Or, he falls asleep after only an hour then wakes up later and starts the screaming routine and the tag-team task then takes up to FOUR hours.

No rest for the weary. The stress of the ordeal has caused me to tear some muscles in my arms. The pain of that rivals the pain of my fibromyalgia and the severe arthritis in my neck. I often do this rocking in tears. But I push on because my husband can only go so far (and he ALWAYS goes too far) before getting short of breath. But, it isn’t all bad. Matty is on a waiting list for day care and if we are still alive in three months, we will finally have a break! We are dangerously close to burning out now. We have no help what-so-ever and we just pray we will make it another three months and that no one will come along and push Matty back on the waiting list. We are so tired. Our marriage is struggling. Our health is deteriorating. Our hopes are fading.

You may ask, how does one love a child like this? Going along with the puzzle that Autism is, …you just do. Because of my limited me time, it took four sittings to write this all down.

Lookie, we have an award

Autism Insights awarded us with this:

And we all share in this award, all of those who write here at Autism Sucks. You all are wonderful, and I am so glad you are here and a part of this.

About the award:

This award recognizes and gives value to:

1. 1.- Commitment to Quality Education.
2. 2.-Betting on the inclusion of Tics [children with tics] in the classroom.
3. 3.-The effort of parents, professionals and educational centers in incorporating the Tics into the educational process.
4. 4.-The struggle to defend, through the Teaching Values like: Solidarity, Love, Affection, Respect, Effort, Aid, Support, Sharing and Commitment, the future of our children and students.
5. 5.-Recognize and value the effort of the families, professionals and educational centers for integrating effective conditions in the schools and in society for the children and special students, gaining them tons of love and allowing them all the resources at our disposal.

You can distribute this prize freely to those blogs that you consider to be working in these lines.

The Norms of distribution are:

• 1.-Publish the objectives of the prize and link to Recursos Educativos (Educational Resources).
• 2.-Publish a list of deserving blogs to pass on the prize.
• 3.-Communicate to each blog rewarded that they have won the prize.

I'm giving the award to:

califmom: she writes about Tourette Syndrome, cancer and homeschooling
Sweet Schoolin': writes about homeschooling special needs kids
Whitterer on Autism: autism blogger and so much more
The Wonderwheel: two blogs on same domain, one about communication therapy, the other about autism.
5 Minutes for Special Needs: group blog about special needs
Thanks for your contributions to the special needs niche. You guys count! Tina

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Let's Talk about Autism and Homeschooling and ..Craziness

Hey everyone! Today I am appearing on Special Needs Kids Talk Radio, so come check it out! 10 a.m. PST and 1 p.m. EST (noon, CST). We are going to talk about autism, homeschooling and what it's like being the "odd one out" in my family. You can listen by clicking on the link, and then the little special needs square takes you to the show. If you register, you can also chat and ask questions for me to answer on air. Come and listen!

From the website:

We are talking to Tina Cruz today about homeschooling her 3 kids and being the only "normal" person in her household, which makes her the strange one. Tina has a great sense of humor, despite her trials and tribulations

This is the first time I have done this, so let me know you are listening. I am terrified bewildered nervous!

T, who hopes I don't stutter and say "uhm..." a lot

Tina is a writer, wife and mother of three children. The two youngest children have high-functioning autism and the oldest has undiagnosed Asperger's Syndrome tendencies. She advocates for autism awareness and education, as well as acceptance. She views autism as a growth process and the opportunity to connect parents for support as a privilege. She is editor and creator here at Autism Sucks. She is the editor of the Special Needs channel at Typeamom, LA Special Needs Kids Examiner. Her personal blog can be found at Send Chocolate.

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Some Thoughts on Autism Awareness Month

The month of April has come to a close, and with it ends Autism Awareness Month.

However, so many of us don't have an end to Autism. It is an ongoing, daily struggle filled with accomplishments, setbacks, discoveries, joy and pain. It is a journey, and the topography changes moment by moment. However, it is filled with the most wonderful people you could ever come across.

But we as a community are fractured. Broken. Divided.

Split along lines that should not be there; dividing a group that needs to band together to help our children and our friends and family members gather hope and strength to face our special brand of challenges.

To help us weather this storm.

Here are some things I would like the Autism Community to really think about and consider making changes to in the next year:

• Start thinking about what the future holds for our children on the Spectrum.

  Our focus has been laser-like on the birth-to-three side of the disorder, and you will hear no argument from me that early intervention is key; but in our haste to put all of our eggs in one basket and cure! recover! heal! we have overlooked a large group of children on the spectrum that still need assistance - the Adults. All of these children grow up to be adults, and as they age, the assistance gets less and less. The transition from young adult to adult is equally as important to a child on the spectrum as it is for that same child during early childhood. We need to remember to look at their lives as a spectrum as well, and provide assistance throughout their entire lives.

• Acknowledge that not all children can be "cured" of Autism, and that most are not.

  This is what is fracturing the Autism community and giving false hope to parents. I am not Jenny McCarthy, my child is not "cured", and many of us need to be okay with that. My son is a teenager, and while he has grown by leaps and bounds, he still has challenges that will plague him the rest of his life. We need to be okay with the thought that this is a process. I tell my friends that have read Ms. McCarthy's books (I have as well for purposes of full disclosure) that I would like to see what she has to say in a few years when her son gets older. I think she will find that the "cure" she spoke of in her books is not the permanent one she was hoping for.

• That money has been funneled into the wrong areas for far too long.

  Many parents, myself included, are tired of hearing that more money from Autism charities are being funneled into discovering how this happened and which additives in vaccines caused this. Should we "Green our Vaccines"? Absolutely. Should we change the schedule? Probably. Should we be the only group saying this to the world at large?

  NO.

  We need to find another soapbox that fits the needs of ALL of our children on the Spectrum, not just the ones who get the most air and face time. Not just the younger ones.

  If you are going to Rescue an entire Generation, it helps to make sure you include everyone, no?

• Start building a community; one that serves ALL in it.

  I had the pleasure recently to spend time with a group of kids and their families that cancer had touched in some way, shape or form. What struck me deep in my heart was the bond these people share, the closeness, the support. People from all walks of life, celebrities, sports heroes, all donate time, resources and money to support and care for these families in this scary, rough and expensive time. And they keep on giving and many pay it forward after they no longer need as much help. The Autism community has nothing like this, and quite frankly it breaks my heart. If we had had even one-tenth of this amazing resource to help families share, bond, get assistance, and gather strength and hope; it would be amazing. If this help is available to us currently, it more than likely has strings attached. Strings of "cure".

• Remember that we are not perfect, and that there is so much to learn.

  Take a class. Listen in on a Webinar. Read. Discuss. Tell your story; don't be afraid or embarassed. We need to learn from each other. We need to spread the word. Autism and Spectrum Disorders are relatively new to the world vernacular, and we need to raise awareness. That being said…

• Don't scare people by sending frightening messages related to Autism.

  Don't equate Autism to a plague, or a horrific act. Someone who I follow on Twitter sends out messages about Autism that only confuse and frighten people. Scaring people into learning about Autism only mixes our message even further. There are many people who are coming forward and revealing that they have ASD and grew up during a time when many had no idea how to work with people who had Autism. Their stories are inspirational, and we need to pay attention.

• Appreciate how far we have come…

  Autism has had more air time in recent months than in previous years. That's a good thing. The fact that there are services for our children, therapies and interventions to help our children grow and function in society is something to be proud of. The accommodations in the schools and the support staff to help our children has increased three-fold. It's wonderful to see.

• …but remember we have so much further to go.

  We need to do more. We need to ask for more. We need to demand more. We need to ask for more services. We need to build an infrastructure to support our families who have no idea what to do or where to go when they are just starting down the road. We need to help those still struggling down that road. We need to work with the medical community to build a stronger protocol to get testing and services for our children earlier than second grade.

• So let's get together and feel all right.

  Let's get together on our global message and remember to include everyone, not just the people that fit a particular (cured) category. Let's work together to spread the collective word that while some children see great improvement with different interventions; let's remember that one size does not fit all, and we need to look at the bigger picture for our children. The lifetime picture.

  So, same time next April then?

crossposted on 5 Minutes for Special Needs Shash is a mom of 2 boys, one with Asperger's Syndrome and one we're not sure where he'll land on the spectrum. You can find her tipping at windmills as a Teaching Assistant in an Elementary School. Shash also writes at her home blog, Diary of a Crazed Mommy.

For the Last Time, It's NOT My Parenting (and if you ask again, I'm Going To Throw You Off A Bridge)

It started over tea. She wanted to have a tea party. But she didn't want to use water. That's for babies! She wanted me to make tea. Which I couldn't do, I was helping her older sister with her Algebra. Part of homeschooling is taking turns. Littles, at 7, isn't always good with that. Well, let's face it, she is really bad at it. When it is her turn, she expects everyone else to wait. But make her wait? And it is Meltdown-City. She will extract her pound of flesh, one way or another. Of course, it passed. It always does. But the aftermath for me is the hardest part. The way I am left feeling: drained, defeated, ready to cry.

I suppose I shouldn't be too upset. She hasn't had a tantrum all week long. Her dad was gone for ten days and in that time, she has been fine. We have had a few missteps here and there, but no full blown I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU episodes. Maybe that means she is getting older. Maybe that means the developmental delay that is Autism Spectrum Disorder is righting itself. Maybe that means the naked chanting that I did by melting green crayon and throwing sheets to the wind has paid off. (I am just kidding about that last part.) Maybe it's just that the tide is high and the moon is low. Hell, I don't know.

And that's part of the problem. I don't know. If you ask me a question about grammar or algebra or llama breeding, I can probably tell you. Or, barring that, I can find out. But as far as the exact reason my daughter is tantrumming, or the tried and true foolproof method of stopping said fit, that seems to be missing on Google. Certainly there are suggestions, but what if they don't work? What then? With children, you don't add A to B and necessarily get C.

If I was a carpenter, I would be sure that I have the latest tools, the best ones to get the job done. A hammer will always work as a hammer. A level, well, that's designed for leveling. With just a few simple tools, a carpenter can build many things. With a few more, he becomes a master craftsman. It can take a lifetime to wield the tools correctly. But even if his skill is only passable, he will be able to create a chair.

As a parent, I work hard to develop my parenting skills. I think if had neurotypical children I would be a pretty good parent. I add tools to my toolbox often. They say if you only tool you have is a hammer, then everything looks like a nail. I am guilty of this at times. But a soft word or patience? Those don't always work. In truth, there are times that I run out of tools in my toolbox. I keep thinking if I just gain more gadgets, if I just learn more schematics, I will, eventually, build the Taj Mahal. But with autism? All bets are off. Sometimes, a level ends up as a fulcrum. Or a hammer ends up as a paper weight. Sometimes, I end up dancing around like a monkey because I have to think outside the box. Down is up, and and Left is Right and OhMyGod is it 5 o' clock yet??

I am not a drinker. I have a bit of Irish Cream or Kahlua in my hot cocoa or coffee about twice a month. A glass of wine about as often. And though I talk about it, I just don't do it. There are times I wish I did drink more. Then I wouldn't care so damn much when I reach the end of the toolbox and find nothing but sandpaper and a ball ping hammer. But I do care, and it kills me and I always wonder, why can't I be a better parent? Why can't I help her calm down before she gets to that place where she is completely unreasonable? Why must I be left feeling like a hollow shell with every nerve exposed? What am I doing wrong?

Tina Cruz is a writer, wife and mother of three children, two who have high-functioning autism, one who has Asperger's tendencies. She advocates for autism awareness and education, as well as acceptance. She views autism as a growth process and the opportunity to connect parents for support as a privilege. She is the Special Needs Editor at typeamom and her own site, Send Chocolate reflects her passion for her children and autism. She is the founder and editor here at Autism Sucks.

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In my house, EVERY DAY is World Autism Day

I'm not sure if you are aware of this, but I have a child who is Autistic. You may not know, or even realize it when you meet him. It might take a few minutes. Or an hour. But at some point when you meet my son, you will begin to notice he acts different. It might be the way he flaps his hands. Or the way he hums to himself. Or the way the conversation he has with you keeps ever-so-slightly going back to the things he likes. It could be because you notice the things he's interested in are younger than he is; or he talks older than his years. You might notice his anxiety. But, if you don't realize it, that's okay too. That's okay because we have worked very hard to help him fit into society's mold. We have embraced Early Intervention, ABA, ESE, Inclusion, and a myriad of other therapies and interventions. (Thank you, Quest Kids and UCFCard!) In short, we have worked very hard for you not to notice the Autism. However, it is a part of him. It is him. Those quirks will never disappear. They may diminish, but they will never fade totally away. And while it is okay with me, it is clearly not okay with society. I say that because the media heralds the "Recovery of Autism"; that "Autism is Reversible". I guess in some cases it could be. Just not in any cases that I know of. That I personally know of. Not to mention, the cases that are brought out to the media are the young kids. The ones who benefit from Early Intervention. Many Autistic children will benefit from Early Intervention therapies (my son did!). The articles about older kids are usually how they are coping, how they are adapting to society. How they are dealing. Because it is difficult. Because it is hard. These young kids grow up. They become adults. And while Early Intervention can and does help Autistic kids, those kids get older; and as they age, the therapies, the interventions, the assistance gets less and less, until there is no more. Until they are totally on their own. So today, on World Autism Day, while we should celebrate our successes and appreciate how far we've come, we also need to realize how much further we have to go. We need to reevaluate how we help our children grow into and become adults. Interventions and assistance should not and can not stop when they need us the most. And they do need it. Don't be fooled. Starting today, let's discuss what we can do, how we can do it, and what we need to do to get this ball rolling along. Talk to me:

• On Twitter
• On Facebook
• via email:

The clock is ticking. His life depends on it.

Shash has two amazing boys, one with Asperger's, a form of high-functioning autism, and in her copious amounts of spare time is a Teaching Assistant in a special needs classroom at an elementary school. Read more about her life and family at Diary of a Crazed Mommy>.

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An Interview with a special needs kids mom - Jenn Brockman

I am beginning a series of interviews with parent's of special needs kids. Lets start with me. I'll conduct my own interview so all of you can get to know me and my special needs kids! Q: What is your name & how many children do you have? A: Jenn Brockman - 2 girls, 7 and 11 Q: You have a special needs child. What is her/his name and what is the special need or diagnosis for that child? A: Actually, both my girls have issues, but don't we all? Nove, the 7 year old has Autism and possibly sensory integration disorder and oppositional defiance disorder too. Kat, my 11 year old, has ADHD. The doc said he'd never seen another kid in his practice rate so high overall on the Connor's scale. (2 of her teachers and we/parents filled out the rating form) Q: What are some of the issues you deal with on a daily basis from your child? (behavioral, physical symptoms or issues) A: Nove is stubborn, non communicative at times - she won't use words - often grunts, points, growls, when words would be used by anyone else. She plays with hot wheels, but play isn't a good word here. She actually just lines them up in different patterns. She is only about 75% potty trained. We still use pull ups on a regular basis. She spins, and spins and spins. There are so many other things, that it would take up a whole page all by itself. Kat, interrupts, can't get from one room to another without being distracted from her mission, talks loudly and often (all the time!). She wiggles and fidgets and moves all the time. Can't get organized, because she starts on one thing and gets distracted. Q: How old was your child when they were diagnosed? If no diagnosis yet, please skip and answer next question. A: Both girls were diagnosed within the last year thanks to family therapy. Q: Was it easy or difficult (to get) diagnosis? A: Well, we've been in therapy for a year and a half and we are just now getting to diagnosis. We tried to get the school to help with Kat for the last 3 years, but they kept brushing our concerns aside until her grades failed this year. Q: How did you feel upon getting the diagnosis? A: It was a relief to get Nove's diagnosis. I had questioned my sanity daily because of her behaviors, but I knew she was not ordinary. For Kat, I felt relief for her. Her self confidence had failed so badly that she beat herself up both literally and figuratively daily. Q: Do you care for the child by yourself, or do you have a support system in place? Please tell the readers about your situation. (who provides care and in what way, for what reason) A: Right now, the support system consists of my Mom when she feels well, their Dad on weekends (we are divorced), our family therapist and the school. My mom has been a tremendous help since Kat was born, but she gets migraines and has had a bad bout for several months now, so I feel like I'm a single mom trying to deal with these two unruly children all by myself. Q: What obstacles (if any) did you face along the way & how did you overcome them? A: The main obstacle was the school. Last year we had a run in with a substitute teacher who claimed that Nove wet her pants on purpose when she was angry. Her home room teacher this year, while communicating and working well with her, may believe that Nove has bi polar disorder and so I'm not entirely sure how she is reacting to Nove. However, there have been some great bright spots along the way. The pre K teacher was the one who initially helped us determine that there was, indeed, something going on with Nove and was so very patient and kind to her and to us. This year's new special education teacher seems to be much more level headed than the previous one and is communicating well with us ( I think). Q: Did you ever feel like it was a losing battle? A: Daily! Nove doesn't get up easily in the morning. She hits, she gets frustrated easily and gives up quick, which frustrated me even more. I feel doomed to be her caretaker for the rest of my life which is not something I signed up for so it feels at times like a life sentence. Q: What quality/qualities (i.e., tenacity, discipline, time management) do you think are necessary for a mom of a special needs child. Q: Which ones do you think it brings out in parents of special needs children? A: Yep, all those listed. Patience, (which I have little of), empathy, compassion and strength. Q: What one thing (book, website, coach, therapist, drug, tool, blog, service, etc) was VERY INSTRUMENTAL or inspirational to you? A: Can't pick just one! George, our family therapist. His humor has helped me get through many frustrations. I take things too seriously more often than not and he has shown me that I don't have to. Temple Grandin is inspiring. She is an adult with autism. Had it before autism was freely diagnosed and actually works and does presentations in the grown up real world. Q: What resources do you still/currently use to help you in your care for your child? A: Therapy. Even though there isn't much to help Nove with in our family therapy, it keeps me sane. Keeps me from giving up and giving in to her and to the social expectancy. Twitter. I've found many other parents of special needs kids there and have been able to share and get comfort. Q: What do you do to keep sane? (scrapbooking, running, reading, baths) A: I used to be a dancer. (belly danc) but the car accident ended that, so now, I read the forums and run my business. The weekends are probably the best for me. I get to spend a couple days with out the girls and with my boyfriend at his house watching crappy TV reality shows and just not giving a crap about the rest of the world. It took me a while to learn how to do that though. Q: I met you through a business networking connection. What business are you in? A: I'm in direct sales, beauty and fashion. Q: What is the name of your company and when did you start it? A: I own 2, along with special needs kids talk radio. My baby is Painted Laydies Mineral Makeup which I created from the ground up. I formulate, create, market, and everything else. The second is Mama Bags where I sell fun and unique handbags and accessories. Q: What was the inspiration behind your company/business? A: Well, Painted Laydies began out of a need for products that didn't make my skin go crazy. I had a background in beauty and art so the color theory and creation part of making the products was easy and a lot of fun. I hoped and still do, that it will actually provide a way to make a living and still be able to care for my kids without worrying about losing a job because I have to go rescue one of them from school. Q: What is your favorite quote/movie/song? A:The Pricess Bride - "as you wish" Some commercial - "what the french, toast?" Q: What advice would you give to other moms of special needs kids? A: Reach out to communities and other parents. The best support comes from someone who can identify with what you are going through. I thought I was alone in what I dealt with in regard to my kids. The fact is, there are millions of us! Q: How can my readers connect with you? (Website, Twitter, blog, etc.) A: I'm always looking for new stories and people to connect with on http://specialneedskidstalkradio.com My other businesses can be found here; http://www.underavirgomoon.com Twitter name is Jenn Brockman

Sick of It

We have been to 2 parties this weekend. 1 block party and 1 birthday party. We stayed for about 3 hours, because that is about all I or Bacon can handle. He played and ate and had a good time, and I was able to have some semi normal conversations with other parents. 

The coming home part is always the part that stinks. It is the part that ends with me hauling his 45 pound body home while he is screaming and flailing, then carrying him to his room to get him to cool off. It is the part that happens before Mr. T comes home. It is the part that has gotten so bad, I am physically ill. It is so bad that I really don't want to go anywhere with him anymore. 

I am sick of the weird looks. I am sick of the questions. I am just sick of it all. I am tired of fighting with a child who only wants to scream at me when he doesn't get his way. I am tired of fighting with a child who doesn't understand that it just isn't that way all the time. I am tired of throwing up from it and I am tired of feeling guilty for it. 

What advice do you all have? What techniques work for your Aspie? What books have helped you cope with this? What support groups have you joined? Do you use counseling? What works? Mr. T doesn't get it, and he isn't here 24/7/365 so he couldn't possibly get it. Those of you moms who are in it do get it. Help please. 

*My name is  Mrs. Tantrum. I am a 31 year old mom to a 4 year old son who was recently diagnosed with Asperger's. I blog almost every day at Momma's Tantrum about our life with Asperger's, Coffee, the crazy antics here, and more. I do have a fierce potty mouth so if you are easily offended, just cover your eyes and hum loudly!*

Camp Struggles

My eldest son is 7. He was diagnosed with Asperger's just last December, just on the cusp of his 7th birthday. We had known something was up for years but couldn't put our finger on what it was or how to cope. We bought books about ADD, ADHD, OCD, graphomotor dysfunction, even Autism and Asperger's but we didn't KNOW until we traveled 3 hours to a specialist, not covered by any insurances, who charged $500 to actually sit with our son and figure it all out. --and then a second $500 to help us figure out what to do with the information. But he was worth every penny. It was a relief to know the name of this thing that controlled our lives. The thing that had become so big that a question like "What accommodations do you make for your son?" had become unanswerable because...didn't everyone live like this? Joey got thrown out of no less than 3 preschools. He was "removed" from the private kindergarten that was supposed to be "WONDERFUL" after only 3 days. He was a "disruption" because he told the teacher that the year 2006 shouldn't have smiley faces in the zeros and then insisted that she remove them. He wouldn't stand on the 7 on the carpet because he was NOT 7 years old. And he loved to turn the air conditioner on and off because he loved to control the movement of the air. Taking him out of that school was that start of a great change in his life. Two willing teachers and an IEP later, my Dino Boy is doing fairly well in an inclusion classroom. I just wish that everyone could see the brilliance that exists in between random acts of eating things that are not food and his stimming habit of bouncing round the room stretching his fingers in all directions. So this was about Camp right? Dino boy and Little Man (see my other blog for that story) go to a wonderful YMCA camp. Little man loves it and Dino Boy went there for part of the summer last year too. So I was very surprised when after ONE WEEK they called me. "Ummm, Ms. Eile, We would just you to know that we are giving you warning that Dino Boy may not be able to stay at camp this summer." Now what? I,single working mother am...screwed. But we talked. Camp talked to me, I talked to ex husband. We spent the weekend talking to Dino Boy about staying with the group, not eating things that are not food, asking for help, telling people that you are frustrated instead of running into the woods, and Dino Boy got it. He really really did. And according to camp he does great, until about the time when there is 2 hours left in camp. He can't hold it in any longer. He struggles so hard to keep it together that on some days those last 2 hours cause him to overload.... And I don't know what to do about it. I KNOW KNOW KNOW that he is doing the best he can, He loves the camp SO much. We had parents night tonight and he just gushed about every activity. But I wish I could just give him a break. A place where he can lose it and still be ok, a place where he can run and play and plan his Jurassic Camp movie and just be loved. So next year...maybe I can find a special camp just for him and people like him...but is that the right choice? or should I just immerse him in "normal" teach him to swim like all the other fish? I don't have something catchy to end with...just an open question I guess. When you have a high function kid, what do you do? Should I constantly challenge him to move up or let him just coast during the summers? He gets so stressed. I just feel that its not fair but when he grows up he is going to need to deal with the outside world. Do I teach him to do that now...or wait just a bit?

We Are Part of the Cool Crowd!

(but you can still sit by us at lunch) We have new jewelry in the sidebar! Just found out that All Top has a new autism page, so by all means, check it out! All Top Autism Keep writing you guys, it is getting noticed! And if you are reading and are thinking, "Oh I could never do that..." Yes, you can! (channelled Obama for a minute there) If you are a parent or caregiver who deals with autism you have a story and we want to hear it! Email me to be added as an author for this blog. T, who loves you all

Welcome to Autism Sucks

Hoping this blog will have multiple authors, all about autism and how much it sucks. Mostly, it was inspired by a friend who was feeling alone. I know there are a lot of us out there, so let's band together and support one another.

My vision for this blog is to have anyone who wants to write about how it is to live with autism. Just email me (link located in sidbar) and I will add you.

..or to make sure I get it quickly, leave it here, in the email at the top of the sidebar: Send Chocolate


T, who is there in the trenches with you