I think that's the hardest part in raising two 13 year old boys with autism - I am literally responsible for everything. As a single mom who's lousy ex husband left 2 months after the kids were diagnosed and has not made any attempts to see them in over 8 years or more, I have to do everything.
I have to make the decisions regarding medication, treatment, therapies, I'm the one fighting the school districts and Regional Center for services, I sign the IEPs, I clean up the messes (literally & figuratively), I reinforce positive behaviors and provide consistency even when I'm so dead tired I'd rather just hide in the closet than deal with another negative behavior, but know that if I don't, it'll be months before we get back on track; in addition I'm also the only one providing the household income, paying the bills, providing food & all the other typical parenting jobs.
If anything doesn't work out right, I am the only one who gets blamed. And someday, I may be the one who has to decide if one of my kids will have to go live somewhere else for his safety. Gods, wouldn't I love to push that decision off on someone else. I think I'd like someone else to blame for a change.