Saturday, May 15, 2010

Having to do it all on my own

I think that's the hardest part in raising two 13 year old boys with autism - I am literally responsible for everything. As a single mom who's lousy ex husband left 2 months after the kids were diagnosed and has not made any attempts to see them in over 8 years or more, I have to do everything.

I have to make the decisions regarding medication, treatment, therapies, I'm the one fighting the school districts and Regional Center for services, I sign the IEPs, I clean up the messes (literally & figuratively), I reinforce positive behaviors and provide consistency even when I'm so dead tired I'd rather just hide in the closet than deal with another negative behavior, but know that if I don't, it'll be months before we get back on track; in addition I'm also the only one providing the household income, paying the bills, providing food & all the other typical parenting jobs.

If anything doesn't work out right, I am the only one who gets blamed. And someday, I may be the one who has to decide if one of my kids will have to go live somewhere else for his safety. Gods, wouldn't I love to push that decision off on someone else. I think I'd like someone else to blame for a change.

6 comments:

  1. Now that REALLY SUCKS. I couldn't even begin to imagine not being able to tag-team parent when I've hit the wall and feel like I want to strangle one of the kids.

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  2. I actually get it. I'm a single mom with a husband. He's here, but he's not on team autism. It's just us. Tired doesn't begin to describe it.

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  3. I'm so sorry that you're carrying such an enormous and difficult load. Do you have any support from extended family or any caregiver support to give you a break? It sounds like you need a break. Hugs.

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  4. Ouch. That completely bites. You should write more often. Thanks for the perspective, and keep doing what you are doing. It really makes a difference.

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  5. I appreciate this post for many reasons, but the top couple of reasons would be: DEEP and spot on honesty and a sense of a comrade in arms! I see everyone who participates in this forum (whether you write, comment, or lurk or all three) as warriors. And you are fierce one.

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  6. I understand. I am a single dad with a 13 year old Aspergers son. There are days that I just get so tired and stressed that I just want to run away. But, I can't do that.

    Hang in there. Do you have a support system around you, friends or family?

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