I'm Drowning

I put a great deal of effort in to raising these two Aspergers boys, only to feel unceremoniously slapped in the face.  My entire day is devoted their care and entertainment.  7 a.m. rise and shine, attempt to have "14" do the same so that he can get ready for film camp that I spend a good deal of money for.  I am met with "I don't want to go! I'm very tired today."  "Yes...you're especially tired today because I want you to get up.  If we were all trying to sleep, you'd be up making noise disturbing those of us who want to sleep.  Let's go!"

He loves to give me hugs at the most inopportune moments, so I ask for a hug, from across the room just to get him out of bed.  It takes him 30 minutes to put on a pair of shorts and a t-shirt. I disappear to get myself together, distracted by the "Old Spice" guy who is on "Good Morning America" this morning.  Oh My God! He's so perfect.  I am smiling ear to ear just looking at him.  The best part of my day so far! When I return to "14'" is still laying in bed, dressed,  like he doesn't know what to do next.

I finally get him down stairs to eat a bowl of cereal.  We're out the door and in the car when he remembers he needs his IPod to listen too on the way.  I drive all the way downtown, listening to him sing, which is really music to my ears although he's off key.  It's just so good to not hear him talking about what he wants me to buy him next! I go up 3 flights of stairs to talk to the instructor at Film camp to find out what's been going on.  Has he been participating? Not really...but she hopes that when they get into shooting and editing he will get into it. He's more technical than creative.  I cringe thinking about how much money I'm spending for him to sit around staring off into space, not joining in the group.  I pray that it will pay off in the end when he gets to shoot the movie and edit it.

10 a.m. I'm checking out Facebook.  I see a post from "14" while he's @ film camp! "I don't want to go to film camp today. I'm tired!"  I am livid! He's freakin' texting while he's at this $200 a week camp! I'm going to kill him!

2 p.m. We arrive back home so that I can take my mother to get her hair done and the boys for haircuts.  They refuse to go together.  "11" refuses to go at all.  I can not leave them at home because they've been vehemently fighting (physically and verbally) over the past several days over the fact that "11" hates "14's" singing.  (I mean they seriously come to blows over this.)  "11" is told he has no choice but to come.  I let "14" stay home to relax after the long, difficult morning of sitting around film camp like a bump on a log.


6 p.m. is time for Swim Team workout.  Everyday, I'm met with resistance.  "I don't want to go! Why'd did you sign me up for all these activities?" 'Uh...so you don't drive me to the nuthouse with the constant fighting with your brother and telling me that you're bored!'.  This boy is twice the size that I am and I almost had to practically carry him inside the pool facility! He sees a girl and a boy outside talking and starts on a rant.  "I WANT A GIRLFRIEND! ITS NOT FAIR!"  "If you get inside and workout, you will look so good, you'll get all the girls!" "I shouldn't have to work my ass off just to get a girl!  They should want me for who I am." Yeah...a guy who walks around looking angry because he doesn't have a girlfriend.  Sure son, that's the way to get a girl. But hey, what do I know about the way superficial teenage girls think? 


I text his 22 year old brother to ask him can he please take his brother to swim practice tomorrow?  He needs encouragement from someone other than me.  I'm met with, "Me and my girlfriend have plans." "Well, can you at least call him and give him a pep talk?" No response...no call.  I reply, "Great! I guess I have to hire a big brother since you can't do the job!" 

8 p.m. I return home after this painstaking practice session.  I take "11" swimming at our neighborhood pool since he's pretty much been home all day with Nana.  After all, he needs to get his exercise in too!  Ask me when was the last time I got to go to Zumba or yoga.  I think it was before school let out.

10 p.m. I pour 1 part Pear Vodka 2 parts blueberry juice to keep myself from drowning.

Note: No one was physically harmed by the end of this day.  Although I sure felt like slapping somebody! 

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