Saturday, May 15, 2010

Having to do it all on my own

I think that's the hardest part in raising two 13 year old boys with autism - I am literally responsible for everything. As a single mom who's lousy ex husband left 2 months after the kids were diagnosed and has not made any attempts to see them in over 8 years or more, I have to do everything.

I have to make the decisions regarding medication, treatment, therapies, I'm the one fighting the school districts and Regional Center for services, I sign the IEPs, I clean up the messes (literally & figuratively), I reinforce positive behaviors and provide consistency even when I'm so dead tired I'd rather just hide in the closet than deal with another negative behavior, but know that if I don't, it'll be months before we get back on track; in addition I'm also the only one providing the household income, paying the bills, providing food & all the other typical parenting jobs.

If anything doesn't work out right, I am the only one who gets blamed. And someday, I may be the one who has to decide if one of my kids will have to go live somewhere else for his safety. Gods, wouldn't I love to push that decision off on someone else. I think I'd like someone else to blame for a change.


  1. Now that REALLY SUCKS. I couldn't even begin to imagine not being able to tag-team parent when I've hit the wall and feel like I want to strangle one of the kids.

  2. I actually get it. I'm a single mom with a husband. He's here, but he's not on team autism. It's just us. Tired doesn't begin to describe it.

  3. I'm so sorry that you're carrying such an enormous and difficult load. Do you have any support from extended family or any caregiver support to give you a break? It sounds like you need a break. Hugs.

  4. Ouch. That completely bites. You should write more often. Thanks for the perspective, and keep doing what you are doing. It really makes a difference.

  5. I appreciate this post for many reasons, but the top couple of reasons would be: DEEP and spot on honesty and a sense of a comrade in arms! I see everyone who participates in this forum (whether you write, comment, or lurk or all three) as warriors. And you are fierce one.

  6. I understand. I am a single dad with a 13 year old Aspergers son. There are days that I just get so tired and stressed that I just want to run away. But, I can't do that.

    Hang in there. Do you have a support system around you, friends or family?


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