In my house, EVERY DAY is World Autism Day

I'm not sure if you are aware of this, but I have a child who is Autistic. You may not know, or even realize it when you meet him. It might take a few minutes. Or an hour. But at some point when you meet my son, you will begin to notice he acts different. It might be the way he flaps his hands. Or the way he hums to himself. Or the way the conversation he has with you keeps ever-so-slightly going back to the things he likes. It could be because you notice the things he's interested in are younger than he is; or he talks older than his years. You might notice his anxiety. But, if you don't realize it, that's okay too. That's okay because we have worked very hard to help him fit into society's mold. We have embraced Early Intervention, ABA, ESE, Inclusion, and a myriad of other therapies and interventions. (Thank you, Quest Kids and UCFCard!) In short, we have worked very hard for you not to notice the Autism. However, it is a part of him. It is him. Those quirks will never disappear. They may diminish, but they will never fade totally away. And while it is okay with me, it is clearly not okay with society. I say that because the media heralds the "Recovery of Autism"; that "Autism is Reversible". I guess in some cases it could be. Just not in any cases that I know of. That I personally know of. Not to mention, the cases that are brought out to the media are the young kids. The ones who benefit from Early Intervention. Many Autistic children will benefit from Early Intervention therapies (my son did!). The articles about older kids are usually how they are coping, how they are adapting to society. How they are dealing. Because it is difficult. Because it is hard. These young kids grow up. They become adults. And while Early Intervention can and does help Autistic kids, those kids get older; and as they age, the therapies, the interventions, the assistance gets less and less, until there is no more. Until they are totally on their own. So today, on World Autism Day, while we should celebrate our successes and appreciate how far we've come, we also need to realize how much further we have to go. We need to reevaluate how we help our children grow into and become adults. Interventions and assistance should not and can not stop when they need us the most. And they do need it. Don't be fooled. Starting today, let's discuss what we can do, how we can do it, and what we need to do to get this ball rolling along. Talk to me:

• On Twitter
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• via email:

The clock is ticking. His life depends on it.

Shash has two amazing boys, one with Asperger's, a form of high-functioning autism, and in her copious amounts of spare time is a Teaching Assistant in a special needs classroom at an elementary school. Read more about her life and family at Diary of a Crazed Mommy>.

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Obama On The Special Olympics Bowling Team: My Two Cents

On the tonight show several days ago, President Obama made a joke. A joke that he undoubtedly quickly regretted. A joke that probably did not even register on the radar of most of America. But, a joke that engendered a strong reaction from many in the Special Needs Community. I have read many posts about the President's gaff. I personally was not offended and tend to give people the benefit of the doubt when they make an honest faux pas. I do, however, respect that there are people who were offended or hurt by what he said. They are entitled to express their opinions and feelings on the issue. My personal fear, however, is that some individuals are using the President's mistake as a license to rant about Obama as a person(i.e, making assumptions about his level of sensitivity and his overall attitudes) thus diluting the REAL societal issue. The man put his foot a bit in his mouth, no question. However, I personally feel his joke was not made with malice or intent to harm. I have no issue with accepting his apology without asking him to prove to us HOW sorry he truly is. A sincere apology, for me at least, always suffices. Really, this is not an "Obama" issue, but a societal issue. Namely, the normalization of certain words and jokes that devalue those with cognitive/intellectual challenges. Until the people in the 'Special Olympics' and on 'the short bus' are seen as human beings with VALUE in our society, nothing really will change. Many a punch line has been made at the expense of the cognitively challenged. Derogatory language regarding differently-abled individuals has become ingrained in our culture's common vernacular. Words like 'moron' 'idiot' and 'that's retarded' are common slang as are one-liners about 'riding the short bus,' or equating someone's abilities to "Forrest Gump." We scarcely give it a second thought, until someone we love is the one ON the 'short bus.' It is then that such comments take on a whole new meaning. When such slang or joking references are made, whether by a public figure or a friend, there are 2 roads that we can take. We can take it as an opportunity to stand on a soapbox and lecture on how and why we are offended. Or, we can create an opportunity to educate, enlighten, open dialogue and share pieces of our lives that help others empathize. To spread awareness. Awareness occurs on a grass roots level; planting seeds every where we go. Just as important as what we say is HOW we say it. Raising awareness can not truly work in harmony with finger pointing and personal judgements. We need to recognize that most people have little to no personal experience with people who have special needs. If someone comes across as lacking sensitivity to the issue, they need to be met with understanding and education, not criticism and a laundry list of how they are a horribly insensitive human being. Our first priority is to spread awareness, not moral outrage. What we are dealing with is an issue of ignorance (in the true, Webster's definition of the word) not intentional malice. And the best eradicator of ignorance is education. We are called upon to raise awareness. Awareness is best achieved by telling our stories, one at a time, in any venue to whomever will listen. People don't want or need to be lectured. They don't want to feel like we're humorless. They don't need to feel humiliated and infantilized for their unintentional mistakes. They don't want their motives to be judged with undeserving harshness or have assumptions made about their character. So, what do we do? Ignore it? Laugh with them? Accept it? No. Spread awareness, but awareness free of negativity. Not focusing so much on why we are offended, but on humanizing the lives of those with Special Needs and the people who care for them. We plant a seed when we share, one at a time, and awareness begins to grow. Let us spend less time judging the hearts of others and more time sharing our own hearts and experiences. Free of stone throwing. Free of character assumptions. Full of love for our daughters and sons who we are defending, suppressing the urge toward righteous indignation. Raising awareness is our task. Let us do it with thought and sensitivity; choosing our words with the same care we expect from others. Let us not forget that fairness and forgiveness are two-way streets. Alicia D. has a doctoral degree in Clinical Psychology, is the stay-at-home mother of 4, and her eldest has autism and other disabling conditions. She has upcoming publications in Today's Caregiver and Autism Spectrum Quarterly. She blogs about motherhood and life on Welcome To My Planet.