Look, we have a Facebook page, could you go and Like it so we get more exposure? As you know, I do this for the community, and not really much else, but I want more parents to know they have a place.
Help me to do that.
Go here: Autism Sucks Facebook pageTina is the creator and head chick in charge around here at Autism Sucks. If you want to write, just ask! Her personal blog is Send Chocolate Now, because when you have kids with autism, life is survivable, but it takes chocolate.
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One of our authors here, califmom, has been dealing with a difficult family crisis, for those who don't know: her husband has cancer. It's bad. SO MANY have asked how to help Leah and Bob, and this is the first thing we can do:
We can give. I know, I know..the economy. But. Every little bit helps. Can you find any amount? Not going to insult your intelligence to tel you to give up your Starbucks or any other thing. You know what you can afford. Do what you can.
Childhood friends of Leah's aka califmom, have started a fund to help the family with the expenses that come with Bob's illness. Insurance doesn't cover it all, and added expense of eating food out, keeping kids occupied... well it all adds up. So. Here is what we can do (posted from Michelle's facebook account):
Bank of America, Nevada
Account Name: Norling Family
Account #: 501008379041
If you're making a deposit in person, you must have the account number. BofA can not look it up for you, even if you have the account name.
If you would like to handle your donation by mail, please make your check payable to the Norling Family. Remember to write the account number in the memo portion and mail it to:
Michelle WolfkielShe plans to make deposits on Fridays and balance updates will be available on Michelle's facebook account.
From Michelle:
Not going to worry about thank you's right now, but we will make every effort to keep track of everyone's name. Thank you all in advance for your love, prayers, and generous support of Leah, Bob, and their children.Please feel free to repost this information wherever you think it might do the most good. You should also know this is a non-interest bearing, free checking account and EVERY penny will be available to Leah's family when they need it.As we celebrate Christ's ultimate sacrifice this Easter weekend, I ask you all to please give until it hurts.
T, who knows you want to help
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“Isn’t the sky the most beautiful shade of cerulean blue today?”
I thought he was color blind, because when I asked what color an object was, he would tell me the wrong one. In school, turned out not only did he know cerulean blue, as he told his teacher, he knew the entire box of Crayola 64 crayons! He wore an Indiana Jones fedora for three straight years. He wouldn’t wear anything but tan pants to “look like Indy” for at least two years. When he was younger, I had to flush the toilet for him, he couldn’t stand the sound. He loved water play and would spend hours playing at the sink. He hates to cut his hair. He can tell you more than you ever wanted to know about UFOs, Mythbusters and the latest video game to capture his interest, but he couldn’t tell the librarian his phone number. He cries easily, especially when frustrated, which also happens frequently. He knows what direction he is traveling at any given moment. He notices details that would escape most of us. Like the time they painted a gas station bench…the new color, the old color…doesn’t matter. He remembers. But he can’t recall his math facts. He doesn’t like doing activities that are not of his own choosing, and hates to perform on cue. He cannot eat gluten or dairy without a lengthy side trip to the bathroom. Consequently, he is on a special diet. He still moves snails out of harms way, just as he once did when he was two. He is now eleven.
She yowls like a cat when she is angry. Hours are spent in solitary play. She is very imaginative, creating elaborate worlds in her play, but other people don’t easily fit into her scenarios. She can be very rigid. She likes routine. She has a hard time with transitions, even when it is something she really wants to do. Her self-control, while improving, can be difficult. She eats almost anything, and more than you would think…she is a elfin little thing. She cannot read well yet, and doesn’t so much want to. She must be taught concepts repeatedly in order for them to take. Sometimes they do. She is a sensory-seeker, needing a lot of hugs, cuddles and attention. If she doesn’t get it, she will act out negatively. We call it “getting her pound of flesh” one way or another. Her whole life is a song. Even her voice is a song: a high-pitched melodious voice is used in conversation. Unless she is yelling. She speaks in half sentences. “Want cookie!” She is social, and loves having friends. She likes being in charge. She has trouble understanding changed decisions…she is certain they are lies. If I say something, I must follow through. She has a memory like an elephant, when it comes to things she cares about. She throws the worst tantrums I have ever seen. She is eight.
She loved to swing as a baby. At three, she threw horrible fits. I would have to hold her to keep her from hurting herself and me. In preschool, while other girls wanted to be a mom, she told her teacher she wanted to be a paleontologist. When her teacher expressed confusion she told her, " You know, a scientist that studies dinosaurs. Everyone knows that!" She taught herself to read at three and a half. She was reading chapter books by age five. She was a walking dictionary. She loves Biology, genetics, Latin, Logic. She is very literal, black and white and has a strong sense of justice. She doesn’t always pick up nuances. Interruption of conversations comes naturally to her, but not because she is rude, she just doesn’t get the rhythm of the talk. She understands sarcasm, but doesn’t appreciate it. She struggles with perfectionism, and a lot of anxiety. She taught herself to knit and play the piano. She tries hard to fit in with her peers, but there is always something just different about her. We say she is the “oldest thirty year old” we know. She is fifteen.
Some may say, “Well, sure, that is any kid!” But truly, my kids are like the amp in the movie Spinal Tap . Most amps went to ten. But the one in Spinal Tap went to eleven, “that’s one more, isn’t it? ” And that’s what my kids are…just a bit more.. a bit harder. This is what autism looks like in my house. I have no idea what causes it. I only know I watch my children struggle with it. We are fortunate, I suppose, since the picture I paint you is of high-functioning autism. They all have speech. They don’t spin. Or flap. But it still affects our lives. We walk on eggshells. It isn’t so much a cure I want…as an answer of what caused it, but if you ask my kids, they will tell you they want a cure. They say it is hard to live in their skin. I can see that’s true.
Every day, I see that’s true.
Tina Cruz is a writer, wife and mother of three children, two who have high-functioning autism, one who has Asperger's tendencies. She advocates for autism awareness and education, as well as acceptance. She views autism as a growth process and the opportunity to connect parents for support as a privilege. She is the Special Needs Editor at typeamom Orange County Special Needs Kids Examiner at Examiner.com, a featured blogger at OC Family and her own site, Send Chocolate reflects her passion for her children and autism. t Autism Sucks is her brainchild.
Sorry, I am crossposting this on all of my sites. I simply feel the issue is too important to ignore. Thanks!
You might remember earlier this year about the teacher from Port St. Lucie, FL who had her class vote on whether Alex Barton, a child with autism, could remain in her Kindergarten class. He was voted out, traumatized and refused to return to school. There was a great uproar and teacher Wendy Portillo was suspended without pay for a year with her tenure revoked.
The school board quietly reversed its decision this week..please read the rest here, and trust me, you need to read it.
Tina Cruz is a writer, wife and mother of three children, two who have high-functioning autism, one who has Asperger's tendencies. She advocates for autism awareness and education, as well as acceptance. She views autism as a growth process and the opportunity to connect parents for support as a privilege. She is the Special Needs Editor at typeamom LA Special Needs Kids Examiner at Examiner.com and her own site, Send Chocolate reflects her passion for her children and autism. Autism Sucks is her brainchild.![Reblog this post [with Zemanta]](https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/blogger_img_proxy/AEn0k_umW-S4aXpn0x1i5HFAVjsrplZnbBnDMZsI1iVCUvTuxXlGXgKH5KAzw165rqeCtxWssabSvFOvUOY_MxW4nmrUppIArcU22owJUuWA4l-u55JLx5oKQR-KRTXdmItIOMObLkF-4068-Hc9fkXal2ok=s0-d)
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The following is in response to a comment made on the last post regarding homeschooling for autistic kids. It refers to a comment from a special education teacher. Go read it, first. Califmom's response needed to be its own post.
Sorry to be petty here, but if the argument to send my child to school is being put forth by a teacher who has more grammar/spelling mistakes in his comment than content, I have a difficult time swallowing that pill.
However, I'm a bigger person than the product of my (formally schooled) environment. So, I'll bite.
What I read in Mr. Black's comment is that my son should attend a formal, school setting in order to experience poor treatment by his age mates and failed social situations, which will then require the support of a team of professionals.
This scenario is seen as superior to providing my child with social experiences outside the academic setting, where stress is lower, and success is higher, which then result in positive experiences in the building blocks of his social competence.
Underlying all of this is an assumption by Mr. Black that I, as the parent of the child, check my opinions at the door, trust the system, and let the professionals do their job.
Mr. Black, just so you know, we were not always homeschoolers. We didn't even choose this path, initially.
In fact, for over 7 years, my children attended an expensive, award-winning private school that touted its ability to address special needs.
My personal educational background is in child development and elementary education.
We did not arrive at our decision to homeschool because we had some idea that it would be a great way to exclude our child from the artificial construct we currently call our schools, an institution largely existent as a remnant of the Industrial Revolution and the requirement that we produce a society of factory workers with a similar world view--followers, non-thinkers, non-questioners.
We arrived at this decision via a difficult path, but we are beyond pleased with the results we see in our children. More, our family and friends are impressed with the change they see in our children.
You see, nowhere else are we grouped in such an artificial fashion as we are in a traditional school setting. Children are grouped by age, and often ability (or disability), and then expected to derive value from this socialization.
I have yet to find a workplace (the argument most put forth for a school-based education is to 'get a job') comprised of same-age coworkers. Have you?
Aside from prisons and psychiatric wards, nowhere else do we lock people in for the day and attempt to control their behavior. Seems odd that we expect only 1 of 3 of those scenarios to be appropriate for all members of our society.
I want more for my child, and I have the ability to provide it. Maybe it's not what everyone can provide their child. Maybe it's not the right thing for everyone, but it is what is meeting the needs of my children and our family. It's also the beauty of living somewhere that provides us this freedom.
If you really want to boggle your mind, Google unschooling. That's what we do. I'm guessing it'll make your head fall off, but maybe it will just open your mind.
Because of her son, califmom knows more than she wants to about Asperger and Tourette Syndromes. She doesn't think autism needs to be cured. She does think that autistic spectrum disorders are more likely orders--another way of being in this world. Visit her at califmom and califmom homeschools.
For Valentines...just in time. Go and comment on Party Planning Professor... every comment will earn a donation for Autism Speaks. More importantly, we gain autism awareness. So, make my Valentines Day...go do it! Now.
Thanks and love to you!
T.
Tina Cruz is a writer, wife and mother of three children. The two youngest children have high-functioning autism and the oldest has undiagnosed Asperger's Syndrome. She advocates for autism awareness and education, as well as acceptance. She views autism as a growth process and the opportunity to connect parents for support as a privilege. She is the editor of the Special Needs channe at Typeamom. Her personal blog can be found at Send Chocolate. Autism Sucks is her brainchild.
Over the years, I have witnessed an exodus of sorts when it comes to the education of friends' children. More and more parents of children with autism and Asperger's Syndrome are choosing to homeschool. We are the well-kept dirty little secret that your school district doesn't want you to know: often our children can be better served at home than in the school system.
I would have never said such six years ago. I was a died-in-the-wool PTA, room mom, get into the system and change it, agent. But one horrific year with my son's classroom (through no fault of the teacher) and I became a true believer. I figured I couldn't do a worse job than the school, and I might even be an improvement. Besides, my son hated school, to the point I was literally dragging him there. Something had to give.
And now? I homeschool all three of my children, and this is our 5th year. Two have been diagnosed with high functioning autism, they are 7 and 10 respectively. My oldest is going on 15, and though she has never been diagnosed, she has many of the deficits of Asperger's, and is also academically gifted. Her father is a computer engineer, and is most likely also on the Spectrum. (he was never tested, but off the record, our psychologist said so) So, you do the math...
In any case, bringing my children home has worked out wonderfully for us. Homeschooling has allowed me to tailor each program according to what works for each child. My 14 yr old, who went to school for 6 years benefits from a very academic program. She enjoys the structure and it works. My middle guy, at 10, is the one I walk the line with. He isn't unschooled, but his academic structure would, at first glance, seem more relaxed. It is still very scheduled, however. But we benefit from frequent breaks, sensory diet and multisensory approaches. I can choose activities that he enjoys, and we keep work periods short and focused. He can take a break for pogo stick or OT work, as needed. My littlest one, at 7, is the one that learns best through games and Mom Time. She needs one-on-one (as does my son) that she wouldn't get in a classroom. She often has to be taught a concept repeatedly before she gets it.
My middle guy is also dyslexic, which makes it interesting, and I am thinking my littlest may be, as well.
As for socialization...which is a joke anyway... but still. We have found with 
regular play dates, activities and park outings, my children do just fine. There is more time for preferred subjects (my 14 year old taught herself to both play the piano and knit, because she had more time than if she was traditionally schooled.) We have more time (and funds) for field trips and activities. While other kids are sitting in a classroom, mine are out learning in the world.
There is a park day we attend and have for years. The attendance is large, with many different ages and multiple abilities. There are several kids from all ages that 
are on the spectrum in varying degrees. It is a very welcoming group. Truly, it was the best decision we ever made for our family.
When my son ended 1st grade, he barely read, was behind in math, his writing was still reversals (though he is left handed, so that made it worse). I would literally dress him like a doll and drag him, kicking, to the public school. He would sit under the teacher's desk, or make games. His aide was useless, only serving to keep him from eloping from the classroom. His work was all sent home. I was already homeschooling, and my son was in the school system!
He is now in the 5th grade, and reads at grade level. His math is also at grade level, or just below. He is above in Science, History, Geography. His writing and penmanship has improved 10 fold. and most importantly, he loves to learn. I have found that learning is a broad term for what we do every day. Mythbusters is learning and exploring Science. Going to the Arboretum is a chance to discuss the environment and botany, as well as the food chain. In fact, every activity has inherent learning in it...you just have to find it.
The most important thing to remember about homeschooling? It isn't something you do. It's something you live. And there really is no wrong way to do it. You can, and your child can... and if it doesn't work, keep tweaking. Also, what your state standards may find important, you may find doesn't mesh with your family. That's ok. I have found that as we go, my kids pick up information I didn't formally teach. And the one thing I want to equip my children with? The ability to find information.
The freedom I have found, as well as the free time away from IEPs, discipline meetings and just general headache is now energy I can pour into helping my son love learning. Less time is spent arguing over what the schools think he needs and more time is given to what he actually needs. We have personalized his goals, and we make sure he reaches them. There is no fighting with autism experts who insist my son is meeting goals that are either too broad, too easy or just plain wrong. I am in control. And my children are the better for it.
That, to me, is success.
T. is a writer, wife and mother of three children, two who have high-functioning autism, one who has undiagnosed Aspergers. She advocates for autism awareness and education, as well as acceptance. She views autism as a growth process and the opportunity to connect parents in support as a privilege.
She is the Special Needs Editor at typeamom and her own site, Send Chocolate reflects her passion for her children and autism. The Autism Sucks blog is her brainchild.
When is a Word not just a Word?
Have you said it? In a fit of pique? Or frustration? In just normal conversation? Have you referred to your children with the "A Word?" Does it define who they are at that particular moment? Dan Olmsted, over at Age of Autism has been ruffling feathers because he believes we need to abolish the use of the word, "autistic." He is on the right track.
I have two children, as you know. They have autism. They are not autistic. Why do I differentiate it in my head? Because autism is part of who they are. It does not define them. They are more than just their disorder or disability or whatever we are calling it this week. I prefer to just call them my children. Who have autism. Though I am not crazy about the puzzle analogy, it fits here. Not because autism is a puzzle, but because autism is a piece of the puzzle.
Dan believes that the word "autistic" is similar in connotation to "retard." He's not far off. It is akin to talking about the "Short Bus", (a slang term for the bus that transports special education students by those who wish to disparage it). It is a negative term, guffawed over lunch by kids who don't understand differences.
Autistic is a very limiting word. It defines the person's limitations. Sometimes, the reputation of a word is enough...it doesn't matter what the actual definition is. No one wants to be called ignorant. And yet, the definition in itself is not offensive. Autistic simply means "of or pertaining to autism." But the gestalt of the word means so much more. Words can be used to educate, but is that necessary all of the time? Sometimes, is it ok to just be?
I have chosen not to refer to my children as autistic. They may change that at any point. It is completely up to them how they will refer to themselves. I have talked to my son about this, and, with no coaching from me, he laughed and said exactly what I had said,
"Why would I want to be known by only one word? I am so much more than autistic!"(emphasis was his)
I understand there is a movement in the adult world of autism to embrace the word. Take it back, if you will. It seems to me like the N word. Young black men reclaimed the word, and the power that went with it, as their own. But it's a word that is acceptable within the context of their community. (One could argue about whether or not it is an appropriate word for any group to use...) Regardless, it doesn't cross color lines.
That is how I see Autistic. It is a charged word. An in-your-face word. A "we're here, get used to it", word. And I can't make my children part of a political movement. It is time for them to just be children. Without limits.
T, who imagines I've started something
How about you? What do you think about autism vs. autistic?
photo by Carey Tilden T. is a writer, wife and mother of three children, two who have high-functioning autism. She advocates for autism awareness and education, as well as acceptance. She views autism as a growth process and the opportunity to connect parents for support as a privilege. She is the Special Needs Editor at typeamom, a contributing writer at The OC Register and her own site, Send Chocolate reflects her passion for her children and autism.Most of us know what Michael Savage said about autism a few days ago. I am not going to recap. I am also not going to blog my reaction to it, because it is, predictably unfavorable. But men like Savage expect an unfavorable reaction. Press, good or bad, is what drives ratings. So, I would like to encourage you:
Don't Feed the Trolls. Even the highly-paid, syndicated radio ones.
Do you remember back in the day when posters would pop into chat rooms or BBS systems, say the most inane things and try to start a fight? Remember what we used to say? Don't feed the trolls. If they don't eat, they leave. Given no one who will rise to their bait, they have to go elsewhwere.
It's the same with Michael Savage. What he said was savage. And he will say worse, he always does. But don't fight him.
Instead, target his advertisers. Get him off the air. Without his radio platform, he will just be another loudmouth shooting his mouth off about what he doesn't understand. But, then, so is a quarter of America. The difference is, they don't have a forum in which to do it.
So I say again. Don't talk about it. Don't blog it, just act. Boycott the advertisers and get rid of this man once and for all.
This list came from here, so make sure go and give him love for compiling this.
A list of current advertisers and their websites
Digital Media Inc., U.S.A.: http://dmiusa.com/ Nevada State Corporate Network, Inc.: http://www.nscn.com/ Roger Schlesinger, the Mortgage Minute Guy: http://mortgageminuteguy.com/ Townhall.com: http://www.townhall.com/ Effectur: http://www.effectur.com/landing.aspx?id=436&gclid=COv8oen-ypQCFQ4RnQodqE95rA Geico: http://www.geico.com/ Home Depot: http://www.homedepot.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/ContentView?pn=Contact_Us&langId=-1&storeId=10051&catalogId=10053 Wachovia: http://www.wachovia.com/ Gold Bond: http://www.goldbond.com/ FreshStart America: http://www.freshstartamerica.com/ Heritage Foundation: http://www.heritage.org/ Breakpoint: [Link removed; see "Breakpoint Responds Re: Michael Savage] Debt Consultants of America (snail mail and phone number listings): http://www.dallas.com/debt-consultants-of-america-incorporated-b23046351 DirectBuy: http://www.directbuy.com/ [See "Directbuy.com Responds Re: Michael Savage"] WebEx: http://www.webex.com/T, who says, house elves are ok to feed
T. is a writer, wife and mother of three children, two who have high-functioning autism. She advocates for autism awareness and education, as well as acceptance. She views autism as a growth process and the opportunity to connect parents for support as a privilege. She is the Special Needs Editor at typeamom and her own site, Send Chocolate reflects her passion for her children and autism.
