What are you doing? a cute film about Autism

This short film was put together by Autism Awareness Australia.  It approaches education about Autism through the eyes of brothers, sisters and friends of children who have autism.  A great resource to give to your son/ daughters teacher to show their class.

Now we are condoning discrimination? oh, HELL no!

Sorry, I am crossposting this on all of my sites. I simply feel the issue is too important to ignore. Thanks!

You might remember earlier this year about the teacher from Port St. Lucie, FL who had her class vote on whether Alex Barton, a child with autism, could remain in her Kindergarten class. He was voted out, traumatized and refused to return to school. There was a great uproar and teacher Wendy Portillo was suspended without pay for a year with her tenure revoked.

The school board quietly reversed its decision this week..please read the rest here, and trust me, you need to read it.

Tina Cruz is a writer, wife and mother of three children, two who have high-functioning autism, one who has Asperger's tendencies. She advocates for autism awareness and education, as well as acceptance. She views autism as a growth process and the opportunity to connect parents for support as a privilege. She is the Special Needs Editor at typeamom LA Special Needs Kids Examiner at Examiner.com and her own site, Send Chocolate reflects her passion for her children and autism. Autism Sucks is her brainchild.

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Lookie, we have an award

Autism Insights awarded us with this:

And we all share in this award, all of those who write here at Autism Sucks. You all are wonderful, and I am so glad you are here and a part of this.

About the award:

This award recognizes and gives value to:

1. 1.- Commitment to Quality Education.
2. 2.-Betting on the inclusion of Tics [children with tics] in the classroom.
3. 3.-The effort of parents, professionals and educational centers in incorporating the Tics into the educational process.
4. 4.-The struggle to defend, through the Teaching Values like: Solidarity, Love, Affection, Respect, Effort, Aid, Support, Sharing and Commitment, the future of our children and students.
5. 5.-Recognize and value the effort of the families, professionals and educational centers for integrating effective conditions in the schools and in society for the children and special students, gaining them tons of love and allowing them all the resources at our disposal.

You can distribute this prize freely to those blogs that you consider to be working in these lines.

The Norms of distribution are:

• 1.-Publish the objectives of the prize and link to Recursos Educativos (Educational Resources).
• 2.-Publish a list of deserving blogs to pass on the prize.
• 3.-Communicate to each blog rewarded that they have won the prize.

I'm giving the award to:

califmom: she writes about Tourette Syndrome, cancer and homeschooling
Sweet Schoolin': writes about homeschooling special needs kids
Whitterer on Autism: autism blogger and so much more
The Wonderwheel: two blogs on same domain, one about communication therapy, the other about autism.
5 Minutes for Special Needs: group blog about special needs
Thanks for your contributions to the special needs niche. You guys count! Tina

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Why Can't I Teach My Child Self-Control?

the following is post from my personal blog, dated two years ago.

Trying to teach any child self-control is tough. When you are dealing with a child with autism, there are added challenges. It isn't that they can't learn, they do. It's just that with autism, often learning takes the form of rote scripts that are hard to apply to situations that deviate from the taught scenario. The ability to adapt just isn't there. I tell you this so that I can tell you this story.

Last night, J and I wanted to go out. We don't get a lot of opportunities to do that, because even though I have given birth to the World's Most Responsible 14 Yr Old, let's face it, leaving her in charge of two younger kids with autism is something to question. But last night, my littlest one said that J and I needed to go out. You need to understand that she was falling apart earlier, not so much in a catastrophic way but more in a "I am really whiny and complaining about everything" way. The Wii can do that to all of my children. Hell, it can do that to me!

JBean was trying to convince me that we needed to let them stay home. We were planning on a late movie, so there would only be an hour that the kids would be up. JBug puts them to bed for us. To assure me that I was making the right decision, JBean said:

"Momma, I can do what they taught us in Sunday School today... SPUD.
Self-Control
Pause
Understand
Decide

I can control my self!"

Most parents would be thrilled by this. Instead I took it to heart as my failure. When you homeschool, everything is your fault. I said to to J, "I have been trying to teach her this stuff for years, and she picks it up in five minutes in Sunday School? Maybe I need to send her to school to learn, because she isn't getting it from me. I'm failing." He looked at me and said, "She got it today because you have been going over controlling herself over and over again. Repeat, repeat, repeat. It clicked because of you." My eyes filled with tears, and I spoke..

"That was the right answer."

T, who takes it all too personally

Tina Cruz is a writer, wife and mother of three children, two who have high-functioning autism, one who has Asperger's tendencies. She advocates for autism awareness and education, as well as acceptance. She views autism as a growth process and the opportunity to connect parents for support as a privilege. She is the Special Needs Editor at typeamom LA Special Needs Kids Examiner at Examiner.com and her own site, Send Chocolate reflects her passion for her children and autism. She is the founder and editor here at Autism Sucks.

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Autism and Girls

this is a repeat of a post on my personal blog from about a year ago..

Not a lot is written about girls and autism, because it is just beginning to be understood. When Hans Asperger first classified it, he thought he had found a boys-only disease. It wasn't until years later that we are finding that more girls are affected than originally thought. The rate for those referred to for diagnostic tests is about ten boys to every one girl. But of those, the rate of diagnosis is one in four. That's one girl for every four boys diagnosed. This rate holds true for both classic and high-functioning autism/Asperger's Syndrome.

In the book edited by Tony Attwood, Asperger's and Girls mentions that one of the reasons that girls are less often referred for diagnosis could be that because girls are naturally more nurturing than boys, they take the "shy and awkward" girls under their wing. In this way, they teach them the social rules.

As a mother of both a boy and a girl with autism, I would agree that girls give more benefit of the doubt than boys do. Girls in elementary school can be kind and helpful to a girl who just doesn't get it. JBug, my oldest daughter had this experience with a friend. She is naturally slow to warm, reticent around new people or experiences. Her friend took her aside and taught her "Embarrassing Lessons," which was really just a way to teach her to laugh at herself and not be so self-concious. JBean has first grade friends that are very kind to her and accept her for who she is, at least at this age. In contrast, JBear has struggled with his peers, who find him "weird" and "obsessed." He often feels ostracized when it really was a matter of just being able to read cues in order to join a game.

JBug's friend also came alongside her and taught her some of what Brenda Smith Myles calls "the hidden curriculum," that is, all of the things that no one ever tells a child, that are considered polite, or kind. For instance, if JBear were to talk about Indiana Jones and as he was doing so, the person he was speaking with kept glancing at his watch and looking over my son's head , think that has happened before? that would be pretty clear to me that the person had somewhere to go and the conversation needed to come to a close. Someone with HFA/Asperger's would not get this reference. He would have missed the entire "non-verbal" conversation. According to a UCLA study, 93% of conversation is non-verbal. So you can see how difficult it can be to interact if you are effectively blind to the social cues!

In my experience, girls in elementary school are much more forgiving of social gaffes. By the time a girl reaches jr. high, it is expected that she will "know" the right things to do and say. If she does not, most girls will distance themselves from the girl who is less socially-savvy. Since girls bond with their "drama," any girl who doesn't play the game will almost certainly be, if not ostracized, just not befriended. I work as a church youth worker with jr high girls (now going into high school). For two years I have watched this happen. The interesting thing to me is that if a girl is more severely affected by Asperger's, they do give a little more leeway, but they still do not count that person as a friend. If a church group operates this way, I can only imagine that school must be even more difficult for a girl with Asperger's Syndrome.

I ran across this article a while ago, about the perils of Asperger's as a female. The information is older, but it bears repeating.

Dr Lorna Wing is a veteran psychiatrist who devoted her career to studying autism after her only child, Susie, was diagnosed with a severe form of the condition. She says girls on the autistic spectrum often appear "normal" at first meeting. "They appear to be more social than boys with autism, but then you notice that their sociability tends to be inappropriate," she says. "They might go on and on talking about the things they are interested in, and they fail to notice that you're not remotely interested. They have a poor ability to 'read' people, and that's something that's often very highly developed in females."from the Guardian

The article goes on to state that it can be difficult in the workplace for a woman with autism, because she doesn't pick up the social cues or display the empathy and understanding that many associate with females. She may face problems because of judgment.

This means that women with autism often struggle at work because they lack what is often taken for granted in women - the intuitive ability to understand where people are coming from and how to manage situations. Because of subtle sex differences, we tend to "expect" more of women in the workplace in terms of smoothing things over, of saying the right thing; and whereas we would excuse a man who lacked these abilities, we are subliminally a lot less forgiving of a woman who has similar shortcomings. from the Guardian

With all of this gloom and doom, sure I am concerned for my girls' futures. JBug has never been diagnosed with Asperger's, but has many traits that come with it, including brilliance, which will serve her well. She is already smarter than I am...shhh! Don't tell her! I believe JBug will be fine, eventually. She will find her niche and her "people"...once the drama from high school stage is finished. She doesn't have time for the gossip or the "immaturity" of her peers. Sometimes she is too serious for her own good. She will land in a scientific community, where Logic is king and Rationality rules all.

My youngest daughter is an enigma to me. JBean has been diagnosed with Autistic Disorder, but is pretty high-functioning. I don't quite know what will happen with JBean. She is content to sit and play with her toys, making voices for all of the Ponies, Pet Shops and Puppy in my Pockets. She makes up long and winding songs about the same. She will often play, undisturbed for hours, if I let her. But she also enjoys cuddling with those she loves, reading (or rather, learning to read) and playing/arguing with her brother and sister. All sounds normal, doesn't it? And yet... there is that certain "something" that makes the autism diagnosis.

She cuddles a little too much, too hard, and doesn't stop when first asked. Her voice is just a bit *too high-pitched, almost baby talk. When she wants your attention she goes from 0 decibels to 999,999 in a split second. We say she has two settings: normal, and car alarm. She is very private about her thoughts, and I don't know if that is because she isn't keyed into them, or she just keeps them to herself. She is very difficult to read, and I am good at reading people.

She is still so young. Who knows what time and training have in store for her? And maybe as we go, more research will be completed that explains more of the mystery behind autism and what exactly we can do about it. I am thankful for articles in mainstream publications that shed light on the issue of girls and autism, but they are few and far between. For now, I continue to work with her, read a lot and pray. I definitely pray.

Tina Cruz is a writer, wife and mother of three children, two who have high-functioning autism, one who has Asperger's tendencies. She advocates for autism awareness and education, as well as acceptance. She views autism as a growth process and the opportunity to connect parents for support as a privilege. She is the Special Needs Editor at typeamom and her own site, Send Chocolate reflects her passion for her children and autism. She is the founder and editor here at Autism Sucks.

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What's The Point of School?

The following is in response to a comment made on the last post regarding homeschooling for autistic kids. It refers to a comment from a special education teacher. Go read it, first. Califmom's response needed to be its own post.

Sorry to be petty here, but if the argument to send my child to school is being put forth by a teacher who has more grammar/spelling mistakes in his comment than content, I have a difficult time swallowing that pill.

However, I'm a bigger person than the product of my (formally schooled) environment. So, I'll bite.

What I read in Mr. Black's comment is that my son should attend a formal, school setting in order to experience poor treatment by his age mates and failed social situations, which will then require the support of a team of professionals.

This scenario is seen as superior to providing my child with social experiences outside the academic setting, where stress is lower, and success is higher, which then result in positive experiences in the building blocks of his social competence.

Underlying all of this is an assumption by Mr. Black that I, as the parent of the child, check my opinions at the door, trust the system, and let the professionals do their job.

Mr. Black, just so you know, we were not always homeschoolers. We didn't even choose this path, initially.

In fact, for over 7 years, my children attended an expensive, award-winning private school that touted its ability to address special needs.

My personal educational background is in child development and elementary education.

We did not arrive at our decision to homeschool because we had some idea that it would be a great way to exclude our child from the artificial construct we currently call our schools, an institution largely existent as a remnant of the Industrial Revolution and the requirement that we produce a society of factory workers with a similar world view--followers, non-thinkers, non-questioners.

We arrived at this decision via a difficult path, but we are beyond pleased with the results we see in our children. More, our family and friends are impressed with the change they see in our children.

You see, nowhere else are we grouped in such an artificial fashion as we are in a traditional school setting. Children are grouped by age, and often ability (or disability), and then expected to derive value from this socialization.

I have yet to find a workplace (the argument most put forth for a school-based education is to 'get a job') comprised of same-age coworkers. Have you?

Aside from prisons and psychiatric wards, nowhere else do we lock people in for the day and attempt to control their behavior. Seems odd that we expect only 1 of 3 of those scenarios to be appropriate for all members of our society.

I want more for my child, and I have the ability to provide it. Maybe it's not what everyone can provide their child. Maybe it's not the right thing for everyone, but it is what is meeting the needs of my children and our family. It's also the beauty of living somewhere that provides us this freedom.

If you really want to boggle your mind, Google unschooling. That's what we do. I'm guessing it'll make your head fall off, but maybe it will just open your mind.

Because of her son, califmom knows more than she wants to about Asperger and Tourette Syndromes. She doesn't think autism needs to be cured. She does think that autistic spectrum disorders are more likely orders--another way of being in this world. Visit her at califmom and califmom homeschools.

Autism and Homeschooling: Why?

...this is a repost from my personal blog...but it seemed relevant here.

Over the years, I have witnessed an exodus of sorts when it comes to the education of friends' children. More and more parents of children with autism and Asperger's Syndrome are choosing to homeschool. We are the well-kept dirty little secret that your school district doesn't want you to know: often our children can be better served at home than in the school system.

I would have never said such six years ago. I was a died-in-the-wool PTA, room mom, get into the system and change it, agent. But one horrific year with my son's classroom (through no fault of the teacher) and I became a true believer. I figured I couldn't do a worse job than the school, and I might even be an improvement. Besides, my son hated school, to the point I was literally dragging him there. Something had to give.

And now? I homeschool all three of my children, and this is our 5th year. Two have been diagnosed with high functioning autism, they are 7 and 10 respectively. My oldest is going on 15, and though she has never been diagnosed, she has many of the deficits of Asperger's, and is also academically gifted. Her father is a computer engineer, and is most likely also on the Spectrum. (he was never tested, but off the record, our psychologist said so) So, you do the math...

In any case, bringing my children home has worked out wonderfully for us. Homeschooling has allowed me to tailor each program according to what works for each child. My 14 yr old, who went to school for 6 years benefits from a very academic program. She enjoys the structure and it works. My middle guy, at 10, is the one I walk the line with. He isn't unschooled, but his academic structure would, at first glance, seem more relaxed. It is still very scheduled, however. But we benefit from frequent breaks, sensory diet and multisensory approaches. I can choose activities that he enjoys, and we keep work periods short and focused. He can take a break for pogo stick or OT work, as needed. My littlest one, at 7, is the one that learns best through games and Mom Time. She needs one-on-one (as does my son) that she wouldn't get in a classroom. She often has to be taught a concept repeatedly before she gets it.

My middle guy is also dyslexic, which makes it interesting, and I am thinking my littlest may be, as well.

As for socialization...which is a joke anyway... but still. We have found with regular play dates, activities and park outings, my children do just fine. There is more time for preferred subjects (my 14 year old taught herself to both play the piano and knit, because she had more time than if she was traditionally schooled.) We have more time (and funds) for field trips and activities. While other kids are sitting in a classroom, mine are out learning in the world.

There is a park day we attend and have for years. The attendance is large, with many different ages and multiple abilities. There are several kids from all ages that are on the spectrum in varying degrees. It is a very welcoming group. Truly, it was the best decision we ever made for our family.

When my son ended 1st grade, he barely read, was behind in math, his writing was still reversals (though he is left handed, so that made it worse). I would literally dress him like a doll and drag him, kicking, to the public school. He would sit under the teacher's desk, or make games. His aide was useless, only serving to keep him from eloping from the classroom. His work was all sent home. I was already homeschooling, and my son was in the school system!

He is now in the 5th grade, and reads at grade level. His math is also at grade level, or just below. He is above in Science, History, Geography. His writing and penmanship has improved 10 fold. and most importantly, he loves to learn. I have found that learning is a broad term for what we do every day. Mythbusters is learning and exploring Science. Going to the Arboretum is a chance to discuss the environment and botany, as well as the food chain. In fact, every activity has inherent learning in it...you just have to find it.

The most important thing to remember about homeschooling? It isn't something you do. It's something you live. And there really is no wrong way to do it. You can, and your child can... and if it doesn't work, keep tweaking. Also, what your state standards may find important, you may find doesn't mesh with your family. That's ok. I have found that as we go, my kids pick up information I didn't formally teach. And the one thing I want to equip my children with? The ability to find information.

The freedom I have found, as well as the free time away from IEPs, discipline meetings and just general headache is now energy I can pour into helping my son love learning. Less time is spent arguing over what the schools think he needs and more time is given to what he actually needs. We have personalized his goals, and we make sure he reaches them. There is no fighting with autism experts who insist my son is meeting goals that are either too broad, too easy or just plain wrong. I am in control. And my children are the better for it.

That, to me, is success.

T. Tina Cruz is a writer, wife and mother of three children. The two youngest children have high-functioning autism and the oldest has undiagnosed Asperger's Syndrome. She advocates for autism awareness and education, as well as acceptance. She views autism as a growth process and the opportunity to connect parents for support as a privilege. She is the editor of the Special Needs channel at Typeamom. Her personal blog can be found at Send Chocolate.

MY FIRST POST - Autism and Education

Some days you feel as though you are winning. Other days it is as though you’re being bombarded from every angle and you just cant do anything right. I’m on the phone to a mum informing her we have had some problems with her son kicking another student. I like to get in early and pre-empt the return call, as I know mum will be on the phone as soon as her son gets home and tells her the details. Mum understands the situation and I book her in for an interview tomorrow morning. We have come a long way together. From the days of school refusal because a student in his class didn’t share the same opinion he had on a computer game. To refusing to eat anything at school because the other kids called him “cheese disease”. I’m relatively new to the world of Autism and Asperger. When I was at University they prepared you by sending you out to a Special School Unit to get some hands on experience. They had you read scholarly article after article, written by boffins squirreled away in universities, on ways of managing students with Autism. I’m sure I wrote over 30 000 words outlining how I would meet the students needs, all backed up with reference to the latest developments and theories. Something you quickly learn when you meet a child who has Autism is that they are individuals. Generalisations go out the window with many of the theories and interventions. I have come across some students who are happy to shut themselves off from everything. At lunchtime they escape, with their blazer over their head, in a book or a hand held computer game. Whilst others want to be out on the football field or hanging around the staff room talking to people. Some are very self absorbed in class and are reluctant to share. Whilst others, accidentally touch on a topic of interest and they could talk everyone's ears off. The common factor amongst them all is their social interactions, or difficulty with. If you have a child on the AS spectrum and you’re reading this then you are all too familiar that children with Asperger and to a varying degree Autism are very self- absorbed. Everything is about them, to the vexation of their peers. I find it difficult to actually define my job title at times as I do so many different things. I am Head of Year Eight and Nine and I teach History. I help run our learning support department and assist the school’s Special Education Needs Coordinator. Basically I’m the go between home and the teacher. Being caught in the middle is like acting out the fable about the man with his son and donkey, going to the market. You can’t keep everyone happy. A line from a parent I spoke to last week sums up the issue “I am all for children with Autism coming to the school, but where do you draw the line when it starts to impact on our kids. How many exceptions are our children supposed to make”? This is like saying "I am racially tolerant but id hate for an ethnic family to move into my neighbourhood". Start to read through the stories i post on my blog and you soon get a picture of the parents im talking about. Something that still stumps me when dealing with Autistic students is that nothing is ever straight forward. The most notable case of late is of a student in Year Nine who has Asperger. I made reference to him in my opening paragraph. “Cheese Disease”, the name kids called him last year, and the reason he didn’t want to go to school. I was appalled at this and jumped on the students straight away. Later I hear that they called Andy this because he was bragging about the fact that he could eat his packed lunch of cheese sandwiches instead of the compulsory school dinners, which the students hate. I find that Students with Autism are often coupled with other disorders, the most common being Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). In Andy’s case he will only eat cheese, Jam filled biscuits and potatoe smiley faces (of a particular brand, mum has to keep old packets in case the packaging changes). This plays havoc with his health. When I tried to explain to the Head of the Kitchen why he wasn’t having school dinners, he wasn’t having it, saying, “well if I was his parents I’d just say eat it or have nothing”. There is no arguing with these people who have such a shallow insight. I didn’t bother to tell him that his mum had tried this and the result was Andy being admitted to hospital after not eating for three days. Now back to the issue of the complaining parent. Andy had been given two pet rats for his birthday and he had taken photos of them in to show his classmates. Andy persists with showing the pictures to everyone whether they want to see them or not. The next day I get a phone call from Andy’s mum saying Andy is refusing to come to school. I have her bring Andy in and she tells me the kids have been teasing him. They said that they didn’t like his rats. They said that he looked like his rats. They said that rats are vermin, so Andy must be vermin. I’m actually surprised the Year Nines know the word vermin but this is what Andy’s mum says. I attempt to get to the bottom of the story as I’m shocked to hear that bullying had taken place. I’m more shocked at the kids saying these things. As thankfully, bullying is quite rare at the school. I take one of the students from class and question him about the comments. He freely admits saying those things to Andy. This makes me angry. I begin to question why. It emerges that Andy constantly bragged about the rats and at every moment he had the picture out showing people. When someone said the rats were vermin this only fuelled the bragging. When someone said, “put the photo away I don’t like rats”, this only made him get the photo out more. Eventually the comments had come from pure frustration. Now here is my problem. The names were quite hurtful and did constitute bullying. But at the same time they had come as a response to the behaviour of Andy. I called the parents of the student’s at the centre of the bullying accusation and I was met with the response. “My son has an aversion towards rats so I can defend his actions”. I could also see the parents and students’ point of view. A Year Nine student hasn’t developed the social decorum to hold back on insults when faced with frustration. Their response to the bragging was to reply with an insult. For Andy this is confusing as he doesn’t see his behaviour as bragging and can’t understand the response the other students have to something he sees as deeply interesting. So here develops another problem. None of the other students want to be around Andy because he is annoying and if they say anything to him about how annoying he is they will get into trouble. Compounding this Andy knows this also. So he does not want to tell on anyone even if he thinks they are bullying. This is just one incident this year with one student. The school I work in is in the Independent sector and draws students who would benefit from a smaller setting. Over the past two years our clientele with additional needs has grown exponentially. 90% of the students have some form of learning difficulty and approximately 20% are statemented. For those unfamiliar with the U.K. system, Statementing is a process of identifying need’s and provides funding based on that need, so the students can attend mainstream schools. As you can imagine the people who hold the purse strings and give statements are tight and many parents especially the ones that are not well educated or familiar with the system miss out. This is a whole other issue and I wont get into it at this stage. In the U.K the fazing out of special schools has meant that SEN students are integrated and have access to the same education and opportunities as all children. Most schools have a special education coordinator and a team of classroom assistants. To give you a scale of the support we have 35 members of teaching staff and 26 learning support assistants. Many old teachers here despair at the influx of SEN students we take in, but looking at the successes we have it can’t be denied that the small setting with adequate support is the way to get the best out of these kids. I look back over my post now before publishing and i hope it does not offend. I hope parents can see the dilemma when faced with integration. My next post here will be about a boy I'm trying to help who says inappropriate comments all the time. Help with this one will be much appreciated. so stay tuned. Matt writes a regular blog of his own about his teaching at Trials In The Life of a Teacher. Feel free to make comments and offer him advice. On the same hand if you need advice on education and Autism feel free to drop him a line.